let your no shape your yes

I read a statement once that I haven't been able to forget: "Some of the most life-shaping decisions you make in this season will be about walking away from good-enough, in search of can't-live-without." That simple truth got me thinking that perhaps what we say no to is just as important as what we say yes to...and sometimes, our no might be even more important that our yes.

Good is fine and all, but I don't want to settle for just good. I want to live out everything God has planned for me to the best of my ability. I want to graduate from good to great. I want to grow, dive deeper, push through leadership lids, and become. I don't want a life that's stagnant and stale; I don't want to live trapped in a sea of bland. I want a life of color, adventure, and risk. I want to put my head on my pillow each night knowing that if God doesn't show up in the dreams He's put in my heart, it's game over for me. I want to be dependent, but only on Jesus. I want to pursue my passions relentlessly. I want to challenge myself, push myself to the limit, and discover just how far I can go.

But in order to really fulfill the call God has on my life, I'm going to have to start saying no.

No to hasty decisions.
No to pleasing people rather than pleasing God.
No to unhealthy relationships.
No to perfectionism.
No to unintentional living.
No to settling for average.
No to thinking I know it all.
No to living stuck in past shame.
No to unwise thoughts.
No to good-enough.

The foundation I build with my nos will lead to a stronger yes. Yes to what God has created me for. Yes to who He has called me to be. Yes to the life I want to lead. Yes to the girl I want to become.

Without saying no, I can't set myself up to say yes.

What will you say no to today in order to say a resounding YES?

it's time to write for a change

I closed the last page and let out a slow, long breath. One sentence kept resonating within the deepest chambers of my being...a statement that could very well shake my very existence.

I've loved reading books since as far back as I can remember. And this week was no exception. I picked up a copy of Kathryn Stockett's The Help and began reading...little knowing what I would gleam from its pages.

Reading about writers has always inspired me, but this book truly struck me. Close to the beginning, Miss Skeeter's character stated, "Sure, I dreamed of having football dates, but my real dream was that one day I would write something that people would actually read." I knew in that instant that I would absolutely love this book.

Writing for me has always been my form of therapy--letting out what I'm thinking and seeing it stand still, concrete, on a fresh white page. It comes as a second-nature to me...almost as easy as breathing. I was always the girl (and still am) that would rather write a 10-page paper than take a test any day. I guess that's just how my brain works. When I need to really think something through, I write about it. I grab my journal and sort through my thoughts until I've come up with a solution. And I always feel fresh after spilling the contents of my mind's wandering onto paper. As blogger Max Dubinsky says, "Writing is what I know. It is my life. It is my passion."

Write about what disturbs you, particularly if it bothers no one else. When this piece of advice was given to Miss Skeeter, I literally had to stop reading for a minute and write that statement down. Write about what disturbs you, particularly if it bothers no one else. It caused me to think, and is still making me wonder, what disturbs me?

Typically, when I think of something disturbing, I think of a call to action. I wouldn't just let something fill me with anguish and disgust and then go on with my day...or would I? Yet we do that every, single day. I drive by the homeless man on my way to class and don't think twice about where he sleeps at night. I sit next to the girl in class who can't find any peace at night in the midst of her parent's arguments, but don't take the time to notice the scars on her arms as her way of escape. I order my Starbucks latte from a barrista struggling to make ends meet, but I'm just thinking about the tall cup of caramel goodness that I'll soon have in my hands. Everyone around me has a story. Something that makes them who they are. Everyone that I pass by is someone's daughter, someone's mother, someone's daddy....and I haven't taken the time to notice, rushing through the pages of my own life.

I'm disturbed.

I'm disturbed at what I've become and that I just haven't noticed. Until now. And trust me, I'm going to write about it.

What is my life worth if it's just about me? If you ask me, that's a pretty pitiful existence. 2 Corinthians 6:11-13 says, "The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren't small, but you're living them in a small way. I'm speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!" I firmly believe with all that is in me, that God has called and equipped me to a free life--a life filled with loving others will all I've got and standing rooted in the truth that God is good and He can be trusted. Galatians 5:13-15 says, "It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life...use your freedom to serve one another in love; that's how freedom grows. For everything we know about God's Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That's an act of true freedom."

Write about what disturbs you, particularly if it bothers no one else. In other words, I'm writing to call my heart to action. Being disturbed can't just remain seated on the doorsteps of my life, haunting me with its silence. It's time to write for a change.

The best stories come from experience. Life gives birth to creativity. I write best when I write what I know. Unfortunately, we live in a world where Beer Pong is considered a sport, and voting for the next American Idol then Tweeting about it until four in the morning is comparable to a hard day's work. And we wonder why Hollywood keeps giving us remakes and sequels? Looking for inspiration--start living. Really living. (Max Dubinsky, author of Make it Mad)

Galatians 5 goes on to say, "Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives." I can't skim through the pages of life, wrapped up on my day's list. I have to start taking notice...start seeing what is happening right before my eyes in this world that I live in. It's time to start writing for a change...a change within me, my mind, and what disturbs me the most.

My prayer for this journey of waking up to the stories around me is that, "by your words I can see where I'm going; they throw a beam of light on my dark path. I've committed myself and I'll never turn back from living by your righteous order. Everything's falling apart on me, God; put me together again with your Word." (Psalm 119:105-107) A life centered around me is meaningless and forgettable. A life centered on Jesus' plan for me--well now, that's life-changing, life-altering, and something I'm willing to stake my entire life on...no turning back.

Come have your way in me, I welcome you here, Lord Jesus.

Going Through a Tuning Phase

Thirsty. Need. Water. Now.

Ever felt that way before?--but not physically speaking. I'm talking about being thirsty for something more than what you're currently experiencing...something more in life...something more in your relationship with God.

"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good." Romans 8:26-28, the Message

You make all things work together for my good. Now that's a statement. This sentence so often sung isn't really ever processed in my mind for all it's worth. I mean, just think about those words: You make all things work together for my good. Wow. Talk about a promise we can cling to in the hard times and rejoice with in the sunshine.

I'm an organizer (and a list-maker, as you already know). I like to know details and think through every aspect of things before I make a decision or plan an event. But pushing this tendency into my relationship with God isn't necessarily a good thing. I have to ask myself if I get so caught up in the technical aspects of life that I miss actually enjoying it. When I get caught up in all of the little technicalities, my mind tends to skip over some important things that God tries to show me...like how He is trying to tune my life and what He is convicting me of. Getting caught up in life and missing out on enjoying it really hinders growth. Focusing on the technicalities causes me to miss some of the most important moments because I'm so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I miss hearing the voice of God.

So, what are some questions I'm trying to keep handy as a personal check-up for my life?

1. How is God tuning my life right now? (What are the things I know I need to change in order to re-align my life according to His Word)
2. What is He convicting me of? (What attitudes, behaviors, habits, and relationships need to be fixed?)
3. What am I discovering in His Word?

It's this feeling of thirst, I believe, that best describes this "tuning process." Your eyes won't move away from focusing on the technical aspects of life until you see that you're missing something so much more. And I don't think we can truly grasp the statement from Romans 8:28 until we are thirsty for what it really means. If we're really gut-level honest, maybe we aren't thirsty for this tuning process because that would mean we would actually have to trust God and open up our hearts for some tough questions and things that maybe just aren't that pretty about ourselves on the inside. But, let me tell you, it's worth it. And once you allow yourself to start to crave God's fine tuning process, you won't want to ever go back to focusing on the technicalities 24/7. You'll want God to continue showing you areas in your life to grow in so that you can be all that you can be.

And in knowing that God is good and He can be trusted and really letting that sink into my heart, I can let Romans 8:26-28 permeate my entire being. He makes ALL THINGS work together for {Emily's} good. Personalize that statement and let it change the way you think. Whatever happens in your life is meant for your good. And if we TRUST in God and believe with everything we've got that He IS good, then we can believe that statement is true. And in that, we'll be craving the tuning hand of God upon our lives in a way we've never experienced before.

What You're Doing Inside of Me

As I was driving to my Hope Life Group tonight, a song came on the radio that resonated deep within me--you know those moments when lyrics just seem to put your thoughts and feelings into words?

Whatever You're doing inside of me, it feels like chaos, somehow there's peace. It's hard to surrender to what I can't see, but I'm giving in to something heavenly.

In a recent post, I talked about how leaders push through shades of grey to find clarity. In growing in Christ, I find myself having to push through each stage and every level to find clarity--or another part of who He is creating me to be. Jenni Catron says, "Good leaders lead through the grey. They don't get lost in it. They don't get bogged down by it. They push through it to find clarity." As God leads me through this thing called life, I must push through those "grey" areas, or unknown regions, and keep my eyes locked onto His. When my eyes stay focused on the One who created me, I find true clarity in life. After all, He is the One who defines clarity.

It's time for healing, time to move on. It's time to fix what's been broken too long. Time to make right what has been wrong. It's time to find my way to where I belong. There's a wave that's crashing over me, all I can do is surrender.

Surrendering to Christ's power and plan for my life isn't always a walk in the park. I'm a planner. I like to know what that "next step" is. I like to know exactly where I'll finish my college education. I like to know what my future career plans hold. I like to know the details. Growth in Christ requires faith though. Faith believes in what I can't always see. Easier said than done? You bet. This is where growing through shades of grey comes into play. To lock my eyes onto the face of Christ, I must re-align my thoughts. Each morning before I roll out of bed, I must create the habit to begin my day talking to Christ. When I start my car, I must create a new habit where I turn on music that shifts my thoughts towards my Savior. When I walk on my college campus, I must train my thoughts to stay focused on eternity and not obsessed on present popularity. Making these changes focuses on one day at a time--not conquering perfection. I'll never get there. I know that I'll always have this "chaos" inside of me--this feeling of Christ doing something inside of me that I won't always have figured out. You know what, I believe that's right where He wants us. If we had all of the "grey" areas figured out, then He wouldn't be God and we wouldn't need Him. Living in shades of grey should perhaps be the new normal that I seek.

Time for a milestone. Time to begin again. Re-evaluate who I really am. Am I doing everything to follow Your will or just climbing aimlessly over these hills? So show me what it is You want from me. I give everything, I surrender. Time to face up, clean this old house. Time to breathe in and let everything out that I've wanted to say for so many years. Time to release all my held back tears. Whatever You're doing inside of me, it feels like chaos, but I believe You're up to something bigger than me. Larger than life, something heavenly.

Lord, help me to re-train my entire thought process. I don't want to simply go through the motions of life. I want to fully live! God, I'm beginning to realize that this feeling of chaos inside of me is a part of Your plan--Your plan to lead me into shades of grey....areas where I have no other option but trusting in You alone. God, I surrender. I surrender all. If You don't show up, then I'm nothing at all. Do your work inside of me.

It's time to face up, clean this old house. Time to breathe in and let everything out...

Leading in Shades of Grey

"Good leaders lead through the grey. They don't get lost in it. They don't get bogged down by it. They push through it to find clarity." -Jenni Catron

Why am I here right now? Why am I doing this? Do I even want to do this?--for the rest of my life? I want to be passionate, but about what?Sometimes I can't find the answers in clear-cut black and white letters. Often, the answers I am looking for are in shades of grey.

In Jeremiah, God says that He knows His plans for me, and these plans are for my good. Sometimes I wonder why I haven't been given a glimpse into these plans. Wouldn't it be nice to be handed a map marking out where to go to college, what career to pursue, how to respond in every situation, who to befriend and who to avoid, and who to marry? This past week I felt like I was walking through a pitch black room trying to find a light switch. I felt like I couldn't see my hand in front of me and I wanted desperately to turn on a light! But, as I began to think about what I was experiencing in the dark, I began to realize that perhaps that's exactly where God wants me. In my attempts to find a light, I was using my own resources--making my own career choices, looking at what colleges I was interested in, spending time with people I wanted to hang out with, and responding to situations how I felt like responding. See a pattern? Finding the answers was all about me. When I took the time to stop and think about what I was experiencing in the dark, a light turned on inside of me and Clarity began to resonate within my heart.

In my search for "light," I was asking questions questions like...

• What career do I want to pursue?
• What am I good at?
• What do I want to do?
• What do I want to major in?
• Where do I want to go to school?

God began to show me, however, that I was asking the wrong questions. In 1 Corinthians chapters 8-10, He showed me that He has commissioned me with a work, entrusted me with gifts & abilities, and is compelling me to take action.

So, to truly seek the Light, I think I should ask some different questions...

• God, what are you commissioning me to do?
• God, what are you entrusting to me?
• God, what are you compelling me to take action on?

When I began to shift my focus from "finding the light" to simply sitting in God's presence--light or no light--I began to find Clarity...and true Light. He began to show me that the future isn't even about me...it's all about Him. He showed me that leading isn't about status, position, accomplishments, who you know, how many books you have read, or where you have been. In contrast, leadership is all about being a servant. This thing called life isn't something to pass through, but something to work hard in--running towards the Finish Line giving it everything I've got! Leading in shades of grey is all about pushing through to find Clarity--and the beautiful thing is that Clarity is found alone in Jesus Christ. AND, what's more, He has equipped us to walk through shades of grey. He quips us to overcome and raises us up to become more like Christ.

Leading in shades of grey....seeking TRUE Clarity requires asking the right questions and taking the time to sit in the dark for a while. Christ requires ALL of us...not 50% or even 99%. He asks for all. I believe He leads us to sit at His feet in the dark so we can push through those grey areas--those areas that we are trying so desperately to figure out, but for all the wrong reasons.

So, where am I right now? Content. Content to simply sit at His feet until He leads me to move. I'm asking different questions and discovering what it is that He has commissioned me for, entrusted me with, and compelling me to take action on. From what He's showing me, it's definitely different than what I would have ever imagined or even dreamed of...but the small glimpse that He has shown me looks pretty exciting if you ask me! Yep, I am beginning to embrace leading in shades of grey....black and white answers are over-rated.

Photo courtesy of Megan Mercier.

Let God be the Solution

The story of Esther is simply that of an ordinary girl used by God in an extraordinary way. This orphan girl was thrust into a beauty pageant and crowned Queen of a vast empire...talk about a Cinderella story, huh?! This girl had a secret--a secret that could kill her. A turn of events, however, forced her to choose whether she would lay her own life on the line for the lives of her people. She was the only one who could save them. Could she have been crowned Queen perhaps for such a time as this?

Esther had a CHOICE to make. She could either save herself or save her people. We too have choices every day...choices whether to reach out in love to those who hurt us or not, study for our finals or not, spend time in God's Word or not, etc. Esther faced a giant CHALLENGE. She wasn't necessarily in what I would call a "happy-go-lucky" scenario. I mean what were her options again? Oh yeah, personal death or the death of her people. Hmmm...sounds like an easy decision, huh? Umm, no. We too face challenges every day. We live in this thing called life. James 1:2-4 says, "Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way." Esther was at a point of CRISIS. She hit rock-bottom. In Esther 4, she asks Mordecai to join her in prayer and fasting for three days before she would make her decision. In our moments of deepest need, God is with us & is our very source of strength (2 Corinthians 12:7-10). Esther chose to answer God's CALL on her life. God has placed a call on each and every one of our lives. He has placed you at your school and in your workplace for a specific purpose. He has placed me at the College of Central Florida for a specific reason-- to bring glory to His Name! How will you answer the call that God has placed on your life?

What is God's call on our lives? Romans 12:1-2 says, "So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you." God is calling us to stand out--to be different than everyone around us. People are seeking something genuine, something real.

The following video shows the story of a girl searching for something to satisfy her. In truth, we are all searching for something. I challenge us to search for Christ today. Turn and search for Him--just as the girl does in the video. When we choose to make God the solution, we can choose to rise above the crisis in our lives and answer His call. Let Him take you, bless you, break you, and give you out for His glory. Let that be our prayer.

What Are You Waiting For?

You look around, staring back at you

Another wave of doubt, will it pull you under? You wonder...

What if I'm overtaken? What if I never make it?

What if no one's there? Will You hear my prayer?

When you take that first step into the unknown

You know that He won't let you go

So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose?

Your insecurities, they try to hold to you

But you know you're made for more, so don't be afraid to move

Your faith is all it takes, and you can walk on the water, too.

Your faith is all it takes and you can walk on the water too. "Having faith often means doing what others see as crazy. Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers" (Francis Chan, Crazy Love).

Walking on water is a crazy idea...just throwing that out there! I am currently at the beach and the idea of stepping into the ocean expecting to stay on top of the water has quite honestly never crossed my mind! In Matthew 14, however, this thought does occur to one of Jesus' disciples. One night Jesus was approaching His disciples' boat by walking on top of the water. The disciples were naturally terrified, thinking they were seeing a ghost. Peter decided to see if what they were seeing was, in all reality, a ghost or this man named Jesus that they had been following. He asked the man to prove his identity by having Peter walk out to him if he was indeed the Christ. Jesus told him to come! Peter stepped out of the boat that day and followed Jesus.

What are you doing right now that requires FAITH? "God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to TRUST Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through" (Francis Chan, Crazy Love). Stepping out of the boat requires faith--and trust in God. Sometimes the biggest thing that you and I could be doing that requires faith is simply trusting God with the time that He gives us....waking up each day asking HIM to guide us. What is He asking you to step out of the boat for today? Maybe He is calling you to step out and be a hero in your church by serving in kids ministry. Is He asking you to share His story with your liberal professor? Or Maybe He is asking you to invest in the lives of 5th and 6th grade girls. I encourage you to join me by getting on your knees before the King of Kings and asking Him to guide and direct you. Ask Him to show you what He wants you to step out in faith for today. He will reach out and help you...you and I just have to take that first step.

"Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished." 1 Chronicles 28:20

The Tension is Good

We don't lead from
the safety of the fringe,
We take up residence
in the fray.

Where change is happening,
Where change is necessary.

There we find ourselves
in a unique tug-of-war
between what was,
what is, and what could be.

We are faced with
the reality that we are
the catalyst in the moment.

A tension ensues between
our ambitions and fears.

We are tempted
to bail on our goals
but discover
that under pressure
our vision becomes
remarkably crystallized.

A hundred voices
attempt to sway us
and we find we must
lean into God with
a faith deeper than we
have ever known.

Change happens
in the very place
where many leaders
flinch, fear, and fail.

The tension we resist
is actually by design.
It tests us, it tries us,
It conforms us to His image.

The tension is necessary,
The tension makes us strong,
The tension is good.

(Catalyst, Amena Brown)
Photo courtesy of Megan Mercier.

A Radical Kind of Bold

"If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get His help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who 'worry their prayers' are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open." James 1:5-8, the msg

Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. There's a convicting paradigm shift....or is it really? Perhaps, have I known that I can ask God boldly to move a mountain in my life and just not talked to Him in that way? Absolutely. Prayer is about being bold. It's about laying down my life before the throne of the King of Kings and believing that He will put my life back together. Sometimes the things in my life just don't seem that easy. I think that if I just hold the pieces, I can fix what's going on or help myself grow. Those thoughts are contrary to God's Words.

"God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before Him. When I got my act together, He gave me a fresh start. Now I'm alert to God's ways; I don't take God for granted. Every day I review the ways He works; I try not to miss a trick. I feel put back together, and I'm watching my step. God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to His eyes." Psalm 18:20-24, the msg

In order to truly live, I need to give up my life. I have to give the pen to Christ--who alone can write this story. Dying to myself requires me to be bold...and to be bold, I must lay down at the feet of Christ and believe without a second thought that He will radically change me.

God, I come before you boldly today. Change me from the inside-out. Radically change me...I don't want to live in conformity. I want to be a world-changer. I know that starts with me. God, strip me of my pride. Wake me up from a world of apathy. I don't want to just "do" things for You and completely forget about You in the process. God, help me to live for You. Help me to be madly in love with You. Change me. I believe, without a second thought. Invade me.

A Beautiful Ending...

"We were working so hard for God, that we forgot God in the process." I love this Barlowgirl song, "Beautiful Ending"....it is so easy to get caught in the trap of "doing for" God & having the mindset that God should be thankful that we are on His team because of our gifts or assets, when in reality we have totally missed the mark! God wants us to intimately know Him....and be crazy in love with Him! It's not about what we do or don't do, it's about HIM! At Church of Hope we are on a journey of answering the call, "Come Follow Me." Who is Jesus...really? Who is Jesus to me? Is He a match-maker? A teacher? A provider? A doctor? Or is He my Lord and Saviour whom I can't get enough of? Is my life really all about Him? Or has it been all about me....my wants...my needs...my desires? God is radically changing me....the call to follow Christ is radical...out of the box...definitely not ordinary. If I want to stay comfortable, I need to run away from this man we call Jesus Christ. Following Him is anything but comfortable. At the end of my life, I want to have a beautiful ending...and ending wrapped solely in His arms.

Join the journey, "Come Follow Me," by watching online at Church of Hope or download to your iPod.

Don't Be Afraid to Stand Out

Following Jesus Christ is not about sitting in a coffee shop, sipping a latte, & studying the Bible in your own little world. Don't get me wrong...meditating on God's Word is a key part to spending time with Him, but check out what Jeremiah 22:16 has to say--"'He pled the cause of the afflicted and needy; then it was well. Is not that what it means to know Me?' delcares the Lord." If we want to truly call ourselves "Christ-followers," then we need to do what Christ modeled for us. He pled the cause of the afflicted and the needy....I can't answer for you, but I know for myself, I have all too often been too consumed with the latest frappucino flavor than with the hurting classmate sitting behind me on campus. Following Jesus means that we can't be afraid to stand out...

How can I be used by Christ? Where can I find the needy and afflicted? How can I help the lost get found? It starts on my knees with my heart bent over the altar of the One who died for you and for me. It starts when I can say, "I trust you Lord. Help me to love people unconditionally and fully invest my life for Your kingdom."

Hanging On

You see my anxious heart. You see what I am feeling. And when I fall apart You are there to hold me. How great Your love for me. Now I see what You're thinking. You say I'm beautiful. Your voice is my healing.

Have you ever felt like all you can do is stand? Life kept rushing by with hurricane-force winds, but you felt stuck? Have you ever felt alone? Or without hope? Sometimes going to a whole 'notha level means standing up and gripping the hand of Jesus with all your might.

Life comes at us fast. People don't respond how you want them to. Words sting. In the midst of it all, can we still be confident? Content? Filled with hope? Absolutely. That doesn't mean it's easy. Standing tall and living an unshakable life is hard. Sometimes excruciatingly hard. But there is a way we can do it...no matter what comes our way.

Without You I just can't get by so I'm hanging on to every word You speak 'cause it's all that I need. Hanging on to every word You say to light up my way. Even every little whisper I'm hanging on as if it were my life. I'm hanging on.

Rascal Flatts sings, "When push comes to shove you taste what you're made of. You might bend 'til you brake cause it's all you can take. On your knees you look up, decide you've had enough. You get mad, you get strong, wipe your hands, shake it off then you stand." Standing in the midst of life's circumstances is hard....it is tough....but we can do it.....when we are on our knees.

James 4:10 says, "Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet." If we want to be able to stand tall, we have to get on our knees. I'm learning this in my life right now. We all have days where we just feel like if we hear discouraging words one more time or face rejection one more time, we won't be able to go on--but we can! If you and I will choose to consciously hang on to every word that Christ speaks to us, then we can stand--and stand confidently--no matter what anyone says or does to us.

And when the darkness falls, I can't see what's before me. Your voice is like the dawn always there to guide me.

I love those above lyrics. God's voice is "like the dawn always there to guide me." Have you ever gotten down on your knees before God and just surrendered? Whenever I have bowed in His presence and completely surrendered what I am going through, I have felt His whispers and shouts of love just totally invade my life & help me stand strong! We can't control life, but we can choose to let the Creator of life guide our steps.

I don't know what you are going through, but my prayer for both you and I is that we will choose to surrender every hope, dream, disappointment, failure, and rejection at the feet of Christ. I pray that we will hang on to every word that He says and allow His loving guidance completely and radically take us to a whole 'notha level. I am confident of this: when we allow His voice to be our healing & His words to be our strength, there is no way that we can walk unchanged.

Photo courtesy of Megan Mercier.

Get On Your Knees

". . .Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet."

If those words really are true, then the only way that you and I can go to a whole 'notha level is by surrendering.

Ever seen an action-packed warrior flick? You know the bad guys vs. the good guys? Hollywood never makes surrendering look good. In fact, our society says surrender is a sign of defeat, weakness, and failure. That's not what James 4:10 says though. This verse tells us that getting on our knees in surrender to the God of the universe is the only way we can stand back up. That sounds pretty serious. The only way? No plan B? Seriously? Yep.

James 4:10 in its entirety says, "So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet." This verse just hits me square in the face. God is telling us that in order to go to a whole 'notha level we need to get vulnerable before Him....and quite honestly, that's pretty hard. His Word says to quietly say "yes" to Him and loudly say "no" to the devil. He tells us to purify our hearts and cry our eyes out. God whispers to you and me...."Baby girl, it's time to get serious. It's time to grow up."

I don't like vulnerability. I like genuineness, but vulnerability can hurt. It leaves you out there without the 100% guarantee that you will be loved back. At least that's what we experience on earth. In God's arms though, we can experience something quite different--if we allow ourselves to.

Truly beginning to grow up in Christ means laying it all before Him....your pain, grief, sadness, hurt, anger disappointment, happiness, joy, dreams, failures, successes, mistakes, victories...everything. Take it all to Him and leave it at His feet. When we lay our lives at the foot of His altar, we don't have to worry about carrying ourselves because we allow Him to pick us up and carry us through anything that comes our way. Exodus 14:14 says, "The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still." There is a God who is so crazy, madly in love with you that He will fight for you--and already has on the cross! God sent His only Son to die for you! He loves you that much!

Christ's amazing love for me quite honestly leaves me speechless. I don't even know how to wrap my mind around it. Each and every day I am trying to let this awesome truth that the God who created that big, beautiful sunshine out there & flung the stars in the sky was so crazy in love with me, an ordinary, simple girl, that He chose to die for me. Wow. I don't know how I can't get on my knees in surrender to Him. When we truly begin to grasp that truth--of His all-powerful, never-ending love for us--then we can truly begin to bow in surrender.

Why not start wherever you are at right now? Kneel before His throne room and get vulnerable before Him. He already knows exactly where you are at and what you are going through--and He still passionately loves you. Start to grasp that & out of the fullness of your heart worship Him in surrender. Get on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet.


(Photo courtesy of Megan Mercier)

Running With Endurance

Running with endurance....now that's an unmistakably smart thought! Seriously, do you know anyone who grabs their running shoes & iPod and decides to run for 3 seconds?! (OK, I think I do know a couple people like that...not naming any names or anything...you know who you are!!)

Runners exercise with intentionality. They have a purpose. The same is true for swimmers and bikers. Athletes work out with a goal, or a purpose. They know where they are going & don't give up until they have crossed that finish line--and for truly successful athletes, they don't stop once they have finished the race....they simply set a higher goal & reach for it. That's how I want to live my life.

Training is not fun. I'm just being honest here. Getting up at 6:30 a.m. to go running is not what I jump out of bed excited for every morning. I choose to get out of my comfy bed to workout because I have experienced how it makes me feel afterwards. After I work out, my mind is clear and I feel like I can face anything that day. I feel refreshed and energized. The same goes for going to a whole 'notha level. I want to keep growing because I know what it feels like when I conquer something I have been working on. I know how it feels when I reach the top of a mountain, face a fear, or mend a relationship. I feel on fire....passionate....excited.

It's easy to get burned out though. That's why growing begins with a choice. Growing isn't a feeling. It's not something we can dream about & wake up to. Growing in Christ is an intentional decision--like setting your alarm clock, getting out of bed, lacing up your shoes, and running out that door. You have to take that first step.

"Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise: for yet a little while, and He who is coming will come & will not tarry. Now the just shall live by faith; but if anyone draws back, my Soul has no pleasure in him." Hebrews 10:35-38, New King James

God's Word makes it very clear that we need to run with endurance. In the verse above, the Hebrews writer tells us to walk down this dusty trail called life with confidence & to not give up. Christ finds no pleasure in quitting. Ouch. There is nothing easy or sugar-coated about the above four verses.

God-confidence [God con-fi-dence] (verb): the deliberate choice to rely on Jesus Christ for everything; not a feeling of euphoria or false confidence; a complete trust in God's plan.

As we have been discovering, going to a whole 'notha level requires a choice. Right now you & I are at a turning point: I can only choose one of two paths to take. I can either keep living how I always have or I can change. The latter is hard, but so worth it.

How Can I Choose To Go To A Whole 'Notha Level?

1. Get on your knees. James 4:10 says, "Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet." Be honest with God. Talk to Him about where you are and ask Him where He wants you to be. Ask Him to change you into the woman He wants you to be.
2. Be your own worship leader. Worship is not Sunday morning based. You do not need a praise band to "lead" you in worship. Worship is between you and the One who created your very being. Express your love for Him in your own unique ways. Praise His Name. Make a playlist of your favorite worship songs & jam out on your way to work. Be still and simply listen for His voice. Dance. Walk on the beach & thank Him. Smile. Cry. Raise your hands. Get on your knees. Praise Him.
3. Truly embrace His everlasting, never-ending, crazy love for you. Once we truly grasp this truth, our very beings change. How could we truly believe that the God of the universe loves us PASSIONATELY & not be changed?!
4. Ask Him to stretch & grow you. Yep, this step will definitely help push you into the "growth area." Have you ever noticed that when you ask God to give you patience, you end up running into a million and one situations that make you lose your patience in like five seconds?!
5. Jump, then fall. This one analogy has always stuck in my mind: I am standing on the edge of a cliff. God is beckoning me, calling me to jump into His arms. Once I finally jump and free-fall into His arms I feel an everlasting joy that completely overtakes the fear that engulfed me while I was standing on the ledge. Jump....then fall into His arms. He won't let you down. I promise.

I want to be passionate....on fire for God. I am sick and tired of living day-to-day. I want to have a purpose and something that I fight for. I want to live like I'm dying. I want to live like this is my temporary home. I want to live like a woman is is crazy loved by her Creator. I want to walk in God-confidence. I want to run with endurance. I don't want to give up. I want to grow even when it hurts. I want to keep moving and pushing forward...even when life knocks me down and knocks the wind out of my sails. I want to get up and get back in the race. I want to go to a whole 'notha level.

Choosing to change is choosing to run with endurance. Change doesn't happen in three seconds. Change happens after each and every mile you choose to keep running. Going to a whole 'notha level is a process....not a destination. It's about running with endurance this race marked before us. (Hebrews 12:1)

I'm Just a Broken-Down Jesus Girl

Jesus Christ looks at me & loves me, but He loves me too much to leave me where I am.

In Mark 10:17-31, there is a story of a rich young man who asked Jesus what he needed to do to have eternal life. Christ replied by saying, "You know the commandments: don't murder, don't commit adultery, don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, honor your father & mother." The young man looked back at Jesus & told him that he had kept all of the commandments since his childhood. This next part is what jumps out at me: Jesus looks him hard in the eye & loves him (see verse21). He looks at where this man is & loves him exactly as he is--no strings attached. BUT, then Christ challenges him. "There's one thing left: go sell whatever you own & give it to the poor. All your wealth will then be heavenly wealth. And come follow me." The man, knowing that what Christ was asking him to do required sacrifice & quite a bit of growing pains, sadly walked away defeated and discouraged.

Christ's disciples watched this whole scene play out & later questioned Jesus about who even had a chance of getting into Heaven. Christ looked them all in they eye and said "No chance at all if you think you can pull it off by yourself. Every chance in the world if you let God do it." Wow. Talk about being blunt. Jesus isn't here to politely offer chatty little advice about what movie to go see on the weekend. Christ came to die--literally die--for you & me so that we could spend eternity with Him. While he was on earth, he stretched his disciples and the people around him. The young man in Mark 10 was discouraged because he knew that there was no possible way that he could attain eternal life on his own strength, yet he was too proud to yield to the strength of the One who created his very being. Ouch. Kinda sounds like me.

I'm just a broken-down Jesus girl. There are so many times when I can relate to this young man. I come to Christ asking Him what I can do to grow and truly thrive in His presence & when He gives me an answer, I can get discouraged because I know that what He is asking me to do will require lots of growing pains & sacrifice. The thing is, Christ never said following Him would be easy. He tells us to pick up our cross & follow Him (See Mark 8:34-36). Picking up my cross means dying to me...dying to my wants, desires, ambitions, plans, ideas, opinions, and dreams. It means embracing Christ & allowing Him to fully change me--radically, inside and out!

One of the things about Christ that just still leaves me speechless is that He loves me. He loves me that much. He would rather die than live without me. Why don't I live like I truly believe that? Why do I allow the petty imperfections of this world to mar my view of Christ and how He made me? Why do I get so caught up in what others think that I completely tune out what the Creator of the universe whispers in my ear? Because I am embracing my opinions rather than living in obedience to Christ.

"For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments & every pretention that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, &n we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:3-5

Like Jesus told his disciples in Mark 10, we do have a chance if we allow God to take over. How can I move from being in awe of Christ's love for me to truly letting it take over my entire life? By moving from my opinions to obedience to Him. How do I do this? By taking every thought captive. 2 Corinthians clearly states that Christ's power in us has the divine power to demolish strongholds on our lives. Talk about power! Christ in me can change the world...starting with me, a broken-down Jesus girl. The cool thing....that's exactly where Christ wants me to be; because, when I come to Him broken, He can begin to stretch me & that is where I can choose to take every opinionated thought of mine captive and respond in obedience to His calling on my life.

Lord, make me the woman you want me to be.

(Photo courtesy of Megan Mercier)

I Wanna Go to a Whole 'Notha Level!

5-4-3-2-1: SPRINT! I hear the spin instructor scream over the music. OK, no biggie, just time to make my legs feel like they are going to fall off over the next thirty seconds. Great. This is exactly what I wanted to do at 6:30 this morning. Oh yeah, here's the clincher, we get to do this three more times. Ouch.

Did you know that in order for your muscles to grow they need to be broken down? So to get stronger physically, you must first be broken. Interesting. I think the same is true spiritually, emotionally, relationally, and mentally.

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Matthew 11:28, MSG

I want to go to a whole 'notha level. I don't want to be ordinary. As strange as it may sound, I want to live counter-culturally. I want Christ to invade my thoughts and take me captive. I want my heart to literally break at the things that break His heart. I want to live passionately, intentionally, and completely sold-out to the Man who loved me enough to die for me.

"So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective." Colossians 3:1-2, MSG

You know what's so mind-boggling about Christ? He doesn't want my perfection. He simply wants me. Meredith Andrews sings, "You don't want my perfection. All You ask of me is that I show up broken at Your feet. You don't want my religion. You are looking for devotion that is more than just routine." God wants me. All of me. He isn't looking for a 50-50 relationship. He wants me to go to that whole 'notha level too. But that will require some stretching....and lots of growing pains. I don't know about you, but I would so much rather go through the pain of growing right now than the pain of regret looking back on my life knowing that I didn't live to the fullest. Ouch. Seem a little harsh? Yeah, but true. Wanna grow?

Psalm 46:5 says, "God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God shall help her, just at the break of dawn." When we allow God to literally infuse us with His strength, we can do anything. I firmly believe that. John 5:30 says, "I can of Myself do nothing. . .I do not seek My own will, but the will of the Father who sent Me." You might be trying to conquer something that seems seemingly small, but you just can't grasp it. With Christ's help, you can do anything. Maybe you are looking at something that seems too big to grasp. With Christ's help, you can do anything.

Wanna go to a whole 'notha level? Let's walk this journey together and see where God takes us. One thing is sure though: if you come to Christ broken and with a willing heart, He will stretch and grow you like you have never been grown before. Be ready for some growing pains! If you ask Him to take you to a whole 'notha level, He definitely will.

Ready, set, let's go!

Last month we focused on Love. This month (And possibly even longer! We'll see where God takes us!) we will delve into this new series, WHOLE 'NOTHA LEVEL. Stay tuned for practical ways to grow, learn how I'm growing, and daily encouragement. Looking forward to walking down this dusty trail called life with you! Questions? Ideas? Comments? Email me at emilybc91@yahoo.com.