Take All of Me

Today my eyes opened up to something that God has been trying to teach me for a long time. For the past few months He has been trying to show me through different circumstances and relationships that He needs to be the One in control, not me! Too often I think that I can conquer my fears, defeat my giants, and overcome my weaknesses. Point in case: I really can't. Every single time I think that I can do something on my own apart from God I get discouraged, defeated, and frustrated. Why? My focus isn't on Him--it's on me.


Part of that problem goes back to my post, Frizzy Hair, Spidery Long Legs & a Magnifying Glass. When we learn that it is a choice to shift our focus in order to dwell on what is true, noble, right, pure, and lovely it changes our perspective. Thoughts no longer stem from feelings but from what we choose to think about. So definitely one big rock to put in our lives is to consciously choose to put Jesus at the forefronts of our minds.


What about the other stuff? Doesn't overcoming obstacles and weaknesses deal with me personally choosing to overcome them? Kind of--but not really. Trust me, we can't do this thing called life on our own. I can't even follow through on choosing to eat healthy without having my parents keep me accountable by hiding the chocolate in our house--literally! Today at Church of Hope , one of the things we learned was to expect the best when loving people. "Best" is what God determines for me. When I live trusting in Him, I can live and love others no matter what is going on around me or what is happening to me. The root of this is a five-letter word called TRUST. Trusting God has to come first in our lives. When we trust Him and literally give Him everything, all of me, then He can do the life change inside of us. We can't change on our own. Only Christ can change me from the inside-out. I can't love the people who have hurt me by myself, but in trusting Christ, I can extend love towards anyone--no matter what they have done to me. I can't conquer my fears alone, but in trusting Christ I can overcome all fear. I can't turn my weaknesses into strengths, but in trusting Christ I know that He has the power to transform me into the woman He wants me to be.


My prayer is simply this, "Lord, take all of me. Take everything that I've created, everything that I can be. Take all of me. Finish this good work you've started so I can be exactly what you've planned for me to be. Take all of me." I want Jesus to take all of me--my heart, my thoughts, my strengths, my weaknesses, my dreams, my hopes, my fears, and my future. I want Him to be in the driver's seat of my life because I know that that is where I will find true peace and hope. And that is where I will learn to truly live.

Leading From the Second Lane

One of my favorite parts of being a lifeguard is working when the swim team practices. Why? Because I get to watch my sister practice! (KT always makes me smile!!) During tonight's practice, Coach was doing individual goal meetings with each swimmer. While he met with an individual swimmer, the team was supposed to be doing a workout that he wrote on a white board for them to do. Naturally, several people started goofing off and over a matter of five minutes nobody was doing the workout--nobody that is until I saw one girl start swimming laps, back and forth, all by herself until one-by-one every single swimmer on the Wahoos swim team was also accomplishing the written workout. I couldn't help but smile as I thought, "That is my sister!"


KT led a team of fourteen people without even saying a single word. She led by example. Her teammates respected her enough that when they saw her dedication and commitment to practicing, they couldn't help but want to start swimming to. She didn't beg or plead people to swim so they could make Coach happy. She just started swimming. That is the true art of leadership--leading by example. People won't respond to your begging or pleading attempts to get them to do something. There's something that is just more motivating when your followers see you actually doing the work--living the life you are encouraging them to lead.


Leadership begins with you. Leadership is influence. Will you choose to start swimming?

Frizzy Hair, Spidery Long Legs, and a Magnifying Glass

I just feel so ugly. I mean just look at her hair! Mine is nothing compared to hers. Seriously! How could my frizz of a mess even begin to compare to her long, perfectly curled ringlets?! I mean, they even bounce when she moves and the wind blows in just the right direction when she walks! She looks like a model! And that's not all--she even has spidery long legs! And she has a perfect complexion. It's no wonder she is a boy-magnet! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!!!!


Have you ever felt this way? I know I have--on countless occasions! I can't even begin to count on one hand how many times I felt this way this past week! It is so easy to feel inferior, not good enough, unworthy, and insignificant. Why?! Because we allow ourselves to dwell on what is not true. Yeah, yeah, yeah---I know you are thinking that I am probably about to sound like your mother right now, "Oh honey, but you are beautiful! From the inside-out!" (It never seems to help when our moms say this for some reason...it just makes us feel more ugly! I mean...she's our mom for crying out loud!) Well, I am not going to go there! (Yes, you are beautiful because Jesus says you are, not because your mommy says it!) It is very normal to feel just "blah," but those feelings are literally dwelling on what is not true. Why? Well, the Bible says so!

Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. Philippians 4:8-9, the message remix

God's Word says to think on things that are true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious, the best, the beautiful, praiseworthy, and excellent. Do these words describe any of the thoughts above? I don't think so. The thoughts above reflect a girl who sees what's missing, ugly, unsatisfying, unnoticed, and definitely not praiseworthy. Yet, it moments of weakness, when you and I do feel inferior, what in the world can we do to begin thinking according to Philippians 4:8-9? We have to choose to shift our focus.

1. First Priority. Jesus must be our first priority. He created you and created you beautifully! You are a work of art! Psalm 139:13 says, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." Song of Songs 4:7 says, "You're beautiful from head to toe, my dear love, beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless."
2. Open the Communication Lines. Begin praying NOW! The awesome part about God is that He is accessible 24/7/365. He is never hard to get a hold of. He wants to be invited in on your deepest moments of pain so He can fill you with His breath of confidence.
3. Choose to Shift Your Thoughts Immediately. The word choose is a verb--verbs require action. Choosing to shift your thoughts is not a feeling. If there is any big paradigm shift at all in this principle it is right here. You may not feel gorgeous or confident, but you can choose to actively walk in God's unending beauty and confidence. Why change our thoughts? William James says it perfectly, "Why should we think on things that are lovely? Because our thinking determines our life."
4. Understand the Shift & How to Guard Your Heart. Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." So we realize that God is our first priority, talk to Him & ask for His help, choose to shift our thinking.....then what?! We need to realize, truly realize, what this shift in thinking means. Trust me, this is hard stuff! I am learning to live it right now, in this very moment! As we shift our thoughts, we must rely on God and guard our hearts from those same lies we allowed into our heads in the first place. I know for me, this means not reading fashion magazines. Hard? Oh yeah. I love going into Barne's & Nobles, grabbing a cup of coffee, and sitting down with a stack of the latest mags. They are fun for about fifteen minutes until I feel like a fat, ugly whale. So what are my action steps? Don't read fashion magazines. Then I will be guarding my heart from falling prey to untrue thoughts.
5. Stay Locked into His Gaze & Never Let Go. Philippians 4:13 says, "Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am." Jesus makes us who we are. If we know that, why would we not want Him in our every minute? Philippians 4:4 says, "Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him!" Simply put: worship Jesus. Sit at His feet and worship Him. In my own life, I do this by singing my favorite praise and worship songs, talking out loud to Him as I drive, reading His Word, and sitting on my back porch looking at the stars. He leaves me speechless in His presence--just in awe of His beauty and majesty. I can never walk away from Him depressed or feeling ugly. He makes me feel exquisite.

This stuff easy? Not really. Changing our thoughts is probably one of the hardest things we could ever do. And you know what? We can't master it either. This is a day-by-day choice to shift our focus.

You attention amplifies everything. Focus your attention on a moment, an event, an emotion, or an aspect of a person’s personality, and whatever it is you’re focusing on will become more detailed, and this detail will attract still more detail, and all of this detail will come to dominate your thinking. Marcus Buckingham

life. unscripted.

6:00- the alarm goes off.
6:30- meet Jordan to run off the extra cookies I ate last night.
7:00- head home to get ready for school.
8:30- leave for class
9:00- listen to a lecture on social sciences.
10:00- second class of the day; learn how to sustain the environment.
11:00- stop by my office.
12:00- head home.
12:30- homework.
4:00- work.
8:00- finish up any loose ends.
11:00- fall into bed.
6:00- do it all over again.


Schedules, schedules, schedules. We all have our planners, blackberries, and Microsoft outlooks that itemize our agendas for the day and don't really leave any "white space" in our lives. The schedule above reigns pretty true in my own life. I get so caught up in my scripted world that is filled to the max with workouts, school, work, friends, projects, and appointments; but, have you ever noticed that God works in pretty unscripted ways? Let's look at this past week in my own life. I'm in the middle of school and working on final projects, running errands, and trying to squeeze in a work out when I realize that I have an orthodontist appointment. At my appointment, in preparation for surgery they placed four spacers in-between my molars. If you have ever had orthodontic work then you know just how painful spacers really are! I was in so much pain and had to head to CFCC for class! On the way to school, I was talking with a friend and we decided to meet at Starbucks since we were both running a little early. We each bought a drink and talked for a little bit.....totally unplanned, but probably the highlight of my day (especially after the spacers!). On Wednesday, my sister asked me to go to lunch at our favorite BBQ restaurant. I hadn't planned for this while I was mapping out my week, but it made my day just spending time with KT and getting to hang out with her. The same thing happened today! After class some friends wanted me to go to this cute, little Mexican restaurant with them....so, I stopped my scripted plans for the day and went. Not only was it delicious, but I made some great memories!


God brings people, circumstances, situations, and events into our lives that we don't plan for. Life happens. Ever heard the saying, "Everything happens for a reason"? I believe it does. We can learn and grow from everything in our lives--no matter how painful it may be. It is so easy to fill up our lives with all of the minute details that we can all too easily forget about the mighty God who is supposed to be the Lord of our lives.

I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed. I remember it all--oh, how well I remember--the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope; God's loyal love couldn't have run out, His merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over). He's all I've got left. God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits; to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. It's a good thing when you're young to stick it out through the hard times. When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions: wait for hope to appear. Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face. The "worst" is never the worst. Lamentations 3:19-30, the message remix.

Sometimes our "plans" get interrupted by an invitation to lunch, a phone call, a friend who needs help, an unforeseen problem, or even the God of the universe knocking on the door of your heart saying, "It's time to talk." What do we do in these situations? I mean, come on! We have a schedule we must attend to....people to see, places to go, things to accomplish! Hold up. What did the verses above say?

1. Remember where you've come from (vs.19-21). Where are you today and how did you get there? Are you growing and going in Christ? How has He changed you over the past six months? Remember where you have come from and thank God everyday for what He is doing in and through you.
2. Keep a firm grip on HOPE (vs.21). What is HOPE? According to Hebrews 6:18-20, HOPE is an unbreakable spiritual lifeline that reaches past appearances & straight into the presence of God. That sounds like a lifeline that I want to grab onto and never let go!
3. Embrace the love of Christ (vs. 22-24). These verses in Lamentations specifically tell us that God's love is "loyal" and "merciful"--they don't dry up and can't run out! I don't know about you, but I am thanking God with everything inside of me for His never-ending, unbiased love!
4. Stick with God (vs. 24). Stick with God. Let Him be the author of your life. Once you and I allow Him to be our everything, what's written in our outlook isn't top priority anymore.
5. Passionately wait for God (vs.25). Just being honest, I don't like this one! Have you ever wanted something so badly, yet have to wait?! It's like the anticipation for Christmas morning. Verse 25 flat-out tells us that God is good to those who passionately wait. Waiting doesn't have to be boring (hence the passionate part). Actively wait for God's timing and purpose. Let Him guide you.
6. Diligently seek God (vs. 25). This one requires work. We have to seek God actively, not passively. We can't just think about God and assume that's what a relationship with Him looks like. A true, vibrant relationship with God is not only total dependence on Him, but also us actively seeking His face.
7. Quietly HOPE. Back to our lifeline here. Hold onto it firmly, yet quietly. Humbly wait for God. Don't yell and scream at His face angrily reminding Him how busy you are or that you just don't have time for this. Wait for Him. Hold that HOPE in your heart and don't let it go.
8. Go off by yourself (vs. 28-30). I know life gets busy and we do have duties and obligations; however, we need to create that white space in our lives. It is extremely important that we can have a time and place to go off by ourselves and talk to God and merely just sit in His presence. Honestly, this time happens the best when you don't plan in out. God works in unscripted ways; be open to what He is doing.

What plans are being changed in your life today? Who do you need to call and meet at Starbucks? Do you need to sit in the presence of God and just hold onto HOPE? Is there white space in your life? If not, what can you do to make some? Are you passionately waiting, diligently seeking, and quietly hoping? God works in unscripted ways. We tend to write a script for our lives: mapping out schools, future careers, who we will marry, etc. God likes to take that script, throw it out, and simply ask, "Do you trust me?" Are you willing to throw your script away to allow God to work in your life?

Please Note: I am not saying you should never make plans, live out of your car, flunk out of college, or marry whoever waltzes into your life saying they are God's next best thing for you. I am saying that while we plan for the future, we need to allow God to hold the pen. He works in unscripted, out-of-the-ordinary ways in our lives. We want it all figured out asap. He lets us know in His timing. Follow where His pen leads. He does write the story of our lives, but we must choose to accept it--in an unscripted way.