Have you ever felt like you know all the "right" things about God, but sometimes it is just really hard to believe them? Like you know that God loves you, but it is hard for you to believe it because the storms of life are swarming around you. It is so easy to trust God when life is going great, but the second a trial heads our way we duck under our beds in fear. Why is that? It is because our confidence doesn't come from Jesus Christ. If I found my confidence in Jesus all the time the storms of this world wouldn't bring me down because I am so totally focused on Him.
Last night I laid in bed for at least an hour just talking to God. Well, actually God did most of the talking. Three years ago I moved from my home in Clarion, Pennsylvania to Miami, Florida. A big change, right? But life wasn't all sunny beaches once I moved. I had to deal with the pain of missing awesome people who have encouraged me in so many ways. I was home schooled and when we moved I began attending a private school. That was another change in my life. Making new friends isn't always easy. The past three years have been a whirlwind of change and I haven't always trusted God in the middle of the changes. I angrily wondered why He moved me away from one of my best friends into a place where finding a godly, Christian friend was pretty hard. I have struggled with self-esteem and wondered where my confidence comes from. Does it come from the clothes I where or the people I hang out with? I haven't always understood why circumstance in our life happen, but last night I realized why. God held me in His arms last night and comforted me in a way that no human can ever comfort me. God knows my pains and hurts better than I even know them. He whispered reassuring words into my ears. His love for me drew me to tears because I actually believed that He really did love me for the first time. I have known God died for me and loves me my entire life. Hello, I am a pastor's kid! But last night I began really believing it. Jesus told me that while He was on the cross He pictured me. My life flashed before His eyes. When I cried, He cried. When I felt pain, He felt pain. When I smiled, He smiled. When I trusted Him, He became happy. He loved me so much that even if I was the only person in the world He would have still died for me! WOW! I mean this is the God of the universe talking here! I tend to put expectations on people and when they fail those expectations I become disappointed. God told me, "Emily, the people of this world WILL fail you. I will NEVER fail you. I love you too much." Last night God reminded me of all the good things that have happened over the past three years. He reminded me of all the awesome people I have met. I learned to find my satisfaction in Jesus Christ alone. Yes, that is something I have known for a long time, but last night I started believing it for the first time.
This morning when my alarm went off, the first sound I heard was praise music from Bethany Dillon. That encouraged me and started my day off beautifully! I actually got out of bed without hitting the snooze button. Sunday mornings are normally a rush for me and I don't normally spend time with God until I am at church. This morning I had devotions. Guess what they were about, the flesh vs. the Holy Spirit. My flesh was crying out be mad at the world, but the Holy Spirit calmly assured me to rely on God. This morning I was the first person to the car...normally I am the last person to the car! And this morning I didn't have a frown on my face. Right now I am glowing. I am radiant because the God of the universe, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords loves me. That is all I need to be satisfied.
The same experience can happen to you. You can move from simply knowing God loves you to actually believing it. The choice is up to you. Will you let God wrap His arms around you today? Will you let Him be enough for your thirsty heart? Will you choose to let God be your source of confidence?