Today my eyes opened up to something that God has been trying to teach me for a long time. For the past few months He has been trying to show me through different circumstances and relationships that He needs to be the One in control, not me! Too often I think that I can conquer my fears, defeat my giants, and overcome my weaknesses. Point in case: I really can't. Every single time I think that I can do something on my own apart from God I get discouraged, defeated, and frustrated. Why? My focus isn't on Him--it's on me.
Part of that problem goes back to my post, Frizzy Hair, Spidery Long Legs & a Magnifying Glass. When we learn that it is a choice to shift our focus in order to dwell on what is true, noble, right, pure, and lovely it changes our perspective. Thoughts no longer stem from feelings but from what we choose to think about. So definitely one big rock to put in our lives is to consciously choose to put Jesus at the forefronts of our minds.
What about the other stuff? Doesn't overcoming obstacles and weaknesses deal with me personally choosing to overcome them? Kind of--but not really. Trust me, we can't do this thing called life on our own. I can't even follow through on choosing to eat healthy without having my parents keep me accountable by hiding the chocolate in our house--literally! Today at Church of Hope , one of the things we learned was to expect the best when loving people. "Best" is what God determines for me. When I live trusting in Him, I can live and love others no matter what is going on around me or what is happening to me. The root of this is a five-letter word called TRUST. Trusting God has to come first in our lives. When we trust Him and literally give Him everything, all of me, then He can do the life change inside of us. We can't change on our own. Only Christ can change me from the inside-out. I can't love the people who have hurt me by myself, but in trusting Christ, I can extend love towards anyone--no matter what they have done to me. I can't conquer my fears alone, but in trusting Christ I can overcome all fear. I can't turn my weaknesses into strengths, but in trusting Christ I know that He has the power to transform me into the woman He wants me to be.
My prayer is simply this, "Lord, take all of me. Take everything that I've created, everything that I can be. Take all of me. Finish this good work you've started so I can be exactly what you've planned for me to be. Take all of me." I want Jesus to take all of me--my heart, my thoughts, my strengths, my weaknesses, my dreams, my hopes, my fears, and my future. I want Him to be in the driver's seat of my life because I know that that is where I will find true peace and hope. And that is where I will learn to truly live.