Those are the only two words that seem to accurately describe how I feel right now.
Done with the masquerade and sheer facade I too often associate with living my life.
It's time to kiss perfection goodbye and wave as she walks out the front door.
Done with the lies, the games, the pretense I've been living.
I'm so done with this sickening feeling...this sense of trying so had to live, but really missing out on living.
Life is a dance, but instead of letting the music move me, I've been too focused on memorizing the steps.
So I'm done.
Too busy to love, too busy to laugh.
Letting my mind think that having a 5-year plan was a success.
Little did I know, little could I see, that having a 5-year plan wasn't God's plan for me.
"Trust," is what He whispered.
"In a minute," I replied.
"No. Trust Me know, before you lose today."
Standing at a crossroads, looking left and right.
Peeking behind my shoulder, trying to decide if I want to fight.
Fight for what I know in my heart is right.
Do I stay, do I go?
I know it's time.
Time to finally take a stand.
Embrace this journey, this path.
There is freedom in becoming, becoming this girl I know I am.
After taking that first step, I tasted the sweetness of surrender.
The sheer joy of finally letting go to make room to trust.
The bliss in finally losing myself and clinging to the One who made everything about me.
To choose to follow is hard and narrow, but so worth it.
I'm beginning to realize that fake praise isn't praise at all and that being a fan of Jesus just doesn't cut it.
I'm done writing, hoping that the words will change me. Now, every word I write, every character I tweet, is an anthem, a prayer...a battle cry to change.
God change me, transform me.
I'm broken, hurting, and wanting to run to everything that gives me comfort.
But you say, "Be done."
You don't call me to comfort.
You have called me to live abundantly & freely in your presence.
Shower me in grace.
Remind me daily that words mean nothing unless I allow them to penetrate my heart.
Guide me along this path of becoming.
God, I'm done.