She's Got a Love Like Woa

Newsflash: in case you didn't notice, today is this special day where all of those mushy PDA things happen. You know, boys send flowers to girls, buy them teddy bears, and pray that they'll be their one true valentine. Are you getting the picture yet? Today is VALENTINE'S DAY!

No, I'm not going to profess my ardent, passionate love for a certain someone special via Blogger, Facebook, Twitter, or Tumblr today; but I am going to say a big THANK YOU to the people in my life who truly do hold a special place in my heart. 1 Corinthians 13 tells me that I'm "bankrupt without love." I think God takes loving people pretty seriously.

To all of my family, friends, and mentors, THANK YOU. Thank you for loving me, supporting me, encouraging me, praying for me, and telling me hard words even when I don't necessarily want to hear them. You make me better. Today, (even though I will make sure to tell you every day!) I want you to know that I love you! Thank you for loving me for me!

Easier to Write

Can I be honest? It's a lot easier to write all of this stuff than it is to actually live it out.

Shocked? Ah, you shouldn't be. For me, writing is like second nature. I write what I am learning--things that God is teaching me down this dusty trail called life.

It's easy to pick up my pen and jot down my thoughts in ink. There's just something about those permanent blue letters on a crisp, white piece of paper that makes me feel better (Yep, I officially sound like a nerd. Oh well!). When I write, everything makes a little more sense; however, everything I write about always seems to kick into high gear in my life as well.

Prince Charming. Cinderella. Boy meets Girl. Happily Ever After. Boxes of Chocolate. Red Roses. Newsflash: in case you didn't know, tomorrow is Valentine's Day. It is some sort of special day set aside for boys to buy some special girl a box of chocolate and a dozen roses. And then there are those girls who go buy chocolate for themselves, but we'll skip that seemingly unimportant little detail right now! Let's all admit it, if we are truly being honest, you either love Valentine's Day, hate it, or just really don't care (Most girls I know tend to lean towards one side or the other though). You love it if you do have that knight in shining armor beckoning you his way, gallantly pursuing your heart. You tend to hate it if it seems like all of your friends have their Prince Charming and you are left at home, making yourself mac'n'cheese watching re-runs of Ever After and 27 Dresses while drowning your sorrows in a carton of chocolate ice-cream. And then, you may just really not care. Who needs a guy anyways? Just sayin'.

Does one day out of 365 really need to affect us--me--this much? Why should I have such intense feelings about a single day? So what if a guy doesn't ask me to the movies or dinner on this particular day. Does that make me any less of a woman? Not at all! Easy to write. You bet ya. Hard to live and believe every day. Oh yeah. Guess what: I am a living, breathing girl who goes through the same things that you do. I walk through the hallways of a college campus. I am pursuing a career. I have a part-time job. I have close friends who I love hanging out with. I love Jesus Christ with all of my heart and am striving passionately to live for Him. I also have the same emotions that we all go through. Who doesn't want to be named the prom queen? Who doesn't want to be asked out? Who doesn't want to be looked at as "beautiful"? Just so you know, you are not alone. But for me, I want to do something from now on to change. I want to truly live out those things that are just easier to write out on paper.

"For who is God, except the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God? It is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, and set me on my high places. He teaches my hands to make war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze." Psalm 18:31-34

"Show me Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; On You I wait all day." Psalm 25:4-5

"Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord!"Psalm 27:14

These verses give me hope. I know that with God, I can do anything. This is one of those things that is easy to write about. Now I need to put it into action. If I truly believe that with God I can do anything, then shouldn't the 14th of February be a great day regardless of what I do or don't do? If I truly believe that God is crazy, passionately, hilariously in love with me, then shouldn't I walk like a woman empowered by that kind of love?

How can I get there? How can I move from simply writing these words on a page to actually applying them in my life? I think Matthew 16:24-27 spells it out pretty clearly:

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done."

Making the shift from dried-up ink to the actions of my heart requires sacrifice. A Man who loved me enough to shed His very blood for me is crying out, "Emily, pick up your cross and follow me." You see, this man thinks I am crazy beautiful. He says that I am enough. I don't have to change to win His approval. I don't have to dress a certain way to earn His love. All I have to do is be me, who He created me to be: simply emily. And honestly, that sounds really good. I'm sick of looking at magazines and trying to be something that I'm not. I love that for Jesus, I am beautiful the way I am. With Him, I don't have to be anything more or anything less. That's refreshing...and a sigh of relief! Aren't you sick of trying so hard to live up to the world's so-called standards? Aren't you exhausted from over-analyzing everything from how you look to what people think about you? I know I sure am. I am so ready to move from the ink on the page to the actions of my heart.

Was this post easy? Um, honestly, not really. Being transparent and honest isn't always easy, but it is certainly one of the best ways to start moving your heart towards action. Anything you need to be honest with Jesus about today? It's a great day to start. Why not today, this "day of love," talk to your Creator about what's going on. There is a Man who is passionately, ridiculously, endlessly, hilariously in love with you. His name is Jesus Christ. The choice is up to you. Do you want a life that is easier to write on paper because it's just too hard to actually live it? Or do you want a life that is marked by more than just mere written words...a life marked by how you lived?

Valentine's Day is Over-Rated

Moon roof open, windows down, radio on. Just another typical morning on my way to American History--driving through open horse country, singin' along, & enjoying the scenery! So, this song, "Two Is Better Than One," comes on (Cute song! Plus Taylor Swift performs it in, so you can't go wrong!). After the song ends, the radio announcer starts talking...

"Yeah, I bet you don't want to hear that song if you don't have anyone this Valentine's Day. That's depressing. You better make sure that you find someone in time for next Valentine's Day!"

OK....first thought: what is this guy thinking?!!! Then it went to: oh goodness he's right!!! I do need to find someone to buy me chocolate. And ended with: this is absolutely PATHETIC!Here's my question: Why does it seem like Valentine's Day is simply about having a relationship--any kind--just so that you can say you weren't "alone"?

Sadly, today, it seems like we are searching for one-time flings for a day just to say we have plans or were asked out rather than thinking long term. Paradigm shift here: relationships are not meant to be temporary fixes to our seemingly huge problems. Relationships are meant to last (I'm talking both friendships and romantic relationships here). God does not put people in our lives for us to carelessly use and throw away when we are all done. His plan and purpose for love--genuine love--is not for us to find a guy who is willing to spend $5 on a box of chocolate and pick up a dozen roses in order to take us on a one-time fling. I don't know about you, but I'm not interested in or looking for a guy who just wants someone's name to fill into an empty spot in his outlook. I'm looking for a man who is a servant and a warrior--a man who seeks after Jesus first and foremost. I come second. Period. End of story.

Sound pretty straightforward? Well, yeah. I don't know how else to put it! Valentine's Day is about so much more than finding a dinner date. Valentine's Day is not something to be dreaded if you are "single." Valentine's Day is a day where we can radiate the love of Christ--just like any other day! It doesn't matter if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend on this particular day of the year or not. God's word makes it pretty clear: "Don't excite love, don't stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you're ready." (Song of Songs 2:7) Not sure if you can get any more clear than that!

Goal for Valentine's Day? Let Christ shape and mold my heart....not search for a guy to temporarily hold it.

Just a thought.

My LoveLife Revealed...

If you follow me on Twitter, you were probably bombarded with witty Tweets on relationships this past Saturday. CRU @ UF hosted Mark Driscoll's LoveLife Conference on Saturday, Feb. 5th, and let me tell you, it was way worth the endless supply of witty comments. Mark's insights gave me a lot to think about...

@PastorMark: "The average guy plays 2.5 hrs of video games a day. That's not sin. Neither is eating your lawn mower. It's just stupid." #obvi

@PastorMark: "Two things make a man sexy: a Bible and a job."#lovelifetips

@PastorMark: "Don't get in a serious dating relationship until you're in a season when you're ready to be married."

Wow. Talk about the truth behind this statement. Personally, I am in a season where many of my friends are in serious relationships, talking about marriage, getting engaged, and are planning their weddings. Talk about a time shock! I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I'll be 20-years-old this year! When Mark said this, it resonated inside of me. Just because many of my friends are in this stage in my life does not mean that I am in that stage yet. And that's perfectly ok.

@PastorMark: "If you're dating more than one girl, you're a player. Which is the Greek word for douche bag." #sorryboys

@PastorMark: "Ultimately, marriage is about friendship."

That statement is so, so true. It's far too easy to get caught up in the butterflies, spontaneity, and romantic dates, but on the day that you hit rock bottom by reaching the end of your rope, only your deepest, truest friend can be there to help. Excuse my brutal honesty here, but someone you use just for steamy make-out sessions won't be there to hold your hand when you find out that your Mom has cancer. That guy just using you to fulfill his cravings won't care when you find out that you didn't get into the school of your dreams. But your best friend will be there. He'll be the one by your side in the thick of the battle. A statement I heard once in a movie has just stuck inside my head & I plan on keeping it there, "Love is friendship on fire." I don't know about you, but when I think about the scope and sequence of my life, I know that I don't want to marry someone simply to check it off the proverbial bucket list. I want to marry my best friend...someone I know that I can't go another sixty years without.

@PastorMark: "Intimacy is more than a physical collision, it's a heart connection." #songofsolomon

A close friend once wisely told me, "Emily, you'll know he's not the right guy for you when you know that you can live without him. If, however, you know that you can't live a day without him by your side, then he's the man for you." Please hear me on this, I am by no means saying that a man replaces Jesus being by your side. If you are a Christ-follower, you can hold true to the promise that Jesus Christ will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). He will most definitely be there in your weakest and darkest moments. This post is just some girl-to-girl advice when it comes to this whole relationships thing (and for you guys reading, you can take these words to heart too!). Intimacy with a guy (or for your guy-readers, a girl) is so much more than sex. To truly have an intimate relationship, you have to be connected on every level--emotionally, spiritually, mentally, relationally, and physically. It's all about oneness.

@MyLoveLife: God is good and He can be TRUSTED. #insidescoop

I've heard it said that timing is everything, and I would have to agree. God's timing is perfect. My God is a good God and He can be trusted. He can be trusted in every area of my life...including my love life. Trust isn't a word that allows room for choice. It doesn't let one pick and choose different areas to work on or avoid. Trust is a hanging on word. I'm choosing to hang onto the very God who created my heart and the desires that come with it. And that, my friends is my LoveLife revealed.

Guarding My Crazy Heart

Have you ever noticed just how hard it is to control your emotions? C'mon! You know exactly what I mean. You see that hot, stud of a guy walk by you on your way to class and your heartbeat quickens just a little bit. You pick up the latest copy of Seventeen, see what the "latest" look is and begin frantically trying to find quarters and dimes in your couch so you can afford that next $100 pair of jeans. Our hearts can become quite a sticky mess pretty easily that's for sure.

Let's be honest here. Wait, first you may want to brace yourself. Sit down. Grab a cup of sweet tea. Breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Good....OK, ready? We need to guard our hearts. I know, I know. I hear ya, "That's what I needed to brace myself for? I thought you were going to say I needed to gouge my eyes out when I daydream about that gorgeous lifeguard or something!" Ah, no. No eye-gouging here. I like to see thank you very much! Guarding our hearts is actually not as easy as it sounds. You can't just put up a brick wall with an iron gate around your heart and think that will do the trick. Unfortunately we can't guard ourselves with a castle wall and moat system (Too bad...there are some things I would love to throw to the alligators!). So what in the world am I talking about here? Hang on!

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23, NIV

Obviously the Proverbs writer thought that our hearts are pretty important. He says above all else, meaning to make it your #1 priority. He says that our heart is actually the wellspring of life. Basically he is saying that everything about us stems from our hearts--our thoughts, actions, attitudes, desires, words, and wishes. We can think of our hearts as a vault in a palace where the Queen's most precious diamonds are kept safe. There are guards whose entire job is to make sure that the vault is kept safe and secure, unharmed by negative influences. Our hearts are the exact same way. Your heart is a vault storing rare and beautiful treasures. Treasures of your emotions, feelings, thoughts, loves, desires, attitudes, etc. You wouldn't want just anything or anyone influencing those gems would you? Would you want just any cowboy Casanova to ride on in and steal your heart? I don't think so. Only prince charming should be allowed to enter those walls!

Negative influences vs. positive influences. How could you even begin to define what you should allow in and out of your heart? Good news! The Proverbs writer goes on to tell us....

Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil. Proverbs 4:24-27, NIV

I think a lot of what goes on with our heart condition has to do with what we are focusing on. The Proverbs writer seems to think so too. He specifically mentions what we look at, or in other words, what we focus intently on--what our eyes are fixated on. What you are looking at is where you are headed. So if you are focusing on that jerk of a guy simply because his muscles bugle out of his arms and his faces resembles that of Channing Tatum, then you are headed towards heartbreak. I'm not guy-bashing here. This is something that is extremely easy for us girls to fall prey to. We notice a guy for his looks and are attracted to him solely on that basis. Sadly, even after girls do get to know a guy and see what his true character looks like it is only after their heart has become involved--crushes can be dangerous things! The same scenario is true for virtually everything that we allow into our hearts and minds. If you focus on believing that you are fat, you are walking towards low self-esteem and possible depression. How and what we focus on makes all the difference. The Proverbs writer also says do not swerve to the right or the left. He is saying that our hearts are such a big deal that we can't treat them flippantly anymore. This has to be a priority.

I've decided something. Well, actually, I am definitely still in the process of learning and growing in it, but I am deciding to just jump and do it. I'm giving my heart away. Huh? Yep, you heard me correctly. I'm giving my heart away. My prayer is simply this: "Here's my heart Lord, take and seal it. Seal it for Thy courts above." I'm giving God my heart. You see, I can't guard my heart. I'm just not strong enough. When I see that guy, my heart does beat faster. When I see that big, juicy cheeseburger my heart totally wants it. When I look in the mirror, I don't always like what I see. I can't humanly do it. But I do know someone who can. The amazing thing is, He wants to take my heart and guard it for me. By allowing Jesus total access and control to my heart, my vault of gems, I am allowing Him to be in control of my life. I'm giving Him the keys and letting Him steer me in whichever direction He wants me to go. So now, when I look at that guy, I talk to God about how I am feeling. When I see that cheeseburger I ask God to be my comfort instead of food. When I look in the mirror I thank God because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. This keeps my heart and emotions in line. By giving God 100% control, my emotions can't run wild. I know when I try to take control by how I respond to those triggers in my heartstrings. When my emotions do start running crazy, I have to stop and give the key to my heart back to God. Simple? Definitely not. Worth it? You bet.

I want to take my crazy heart seriously, so for me I need a visual reminder--something to constantly remind me that God holds my heart. To do this, I have a ring that I wear on my ring finger. I used to wear a traditional "true love waits" ring, but after I found this one I just knew it was perfect. To me, this ring symbolizes God holding my heart. Since I am His daughter, I am His princess--thus the crown on top of the heart. Every time I look at my hand and see this ring, it just helps me remember to let God have control of this crazy heart of mine.

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23, NIV

Lord, Make Me the Woman You Want Me to Be

God, you never said following you would be easy. In fact, you pretty much say the complete opposite. In Your Word, you tell me to pick up my cross & die to myself daily. Lord, make me the woman you want me to be.

Take me to that place, Lord, to that secret place where I can be with You & You can make me like You. Wrap me in Your arms. Take a hold of my heart & shape it into something beautiful.

God, I see that big, beautiful moon out there. Tonight it's perfect. I can't help but think that the Creator of something that beautiful is crazy in love with me. Your love amazes me. You leave me speechless.

Help me to learn how to love the way that You love me. Develop in me a pure heart. Help me to be genuine. I want those around me to know that my relationship with You is the real deal.

Guide me and direct me. You say that you have a plan for me--a plan to give me not only a future, but hope! Help me to trust in You with every fiber of my being. It sure isn't easy...I want to take control so many times, but please remind me that I need to release the steering wheel of my life to Your hands.

Guide me in this whole area of relationships. I know that you have a warrior-servant for me. I know that while you are preparing him, You are also preparing me. Give me wisdom, strength, and direction. I want you to always be the first and most important love of my life.

God, I try so hard to be perfect. I know that I definitely fall short of that mark & can never even reach it! Help me to see that you love me exactly the way that I am. I don't have to change, say certain things, wear certain clothes, or do specific things to make You love me. Breathe your confidence in me.

Lord, make the me woman you want me to be. . .

Lessons Learned from a Cowboy Casanova

He’s a good time cowboy Casanova leaning up against the record machine. Looks like a cool drink of water, but he’s candy-coated misery. He’s the devil in disguise, a snake with blue eyes and he only comes out at night. Gives you feelings that you don’t want to fight. You better run for your life. . .

For the record, this is not a post bashing on men. Ok, now that we have that little detail cleared up, what is my purpose for this article? To simply share the honest truth with women about a certain breed of men--the exact opposite of the warrior-servants that we are waiting for.

You better take it from me, that boy is like a disease. You’re running, you’re trying, you’re trying to hide and you’re wondering why you can’t get free. He’s like a curse, he’s like a drug. You get addicted to his love. You wanna get out but he’s holding you down ‘cause you can’t live without one more touch. . .

This is the story of a girl. She is chasing after Christ, pursuing her dreams, and reaching for her God-given abilities. She meets a guy on her college campus. This guy professes to love Christ too. In fact, his actions even point to Christ. He seems like he might even be a warrior-servant. Could he be the one she's been waiting for? They go to lunch. They start hanging out. He officially asks her on a date. She is completely flattered. Finally, she thinks she has met her prince in shining armor. But then they get to know each other a little better. While on one hand he professes Christ, on the other he acts differently around his buddies. Strange, she thought, how could she not notice this before? But why worry? He's a Christian, right? He says he loves her. She is smitten. She can't believe this guy is even giving her the time of day...he is popular on campus, a total hottie, and has charisma like no other. He opens the door for her and buys her coffee just because. He's perfect. Then she meets his family. She can't help but notice that while he is polite and kind to his mom and sister, he doesn't seem to take a true, genuine interest in their lives--like he is simply going through the motions of being congenial with them. Little odd, but he's what she's been waiting so long for, right? A couple months go by, and while he still seems "perfect," little things begin to change. He doesn't grab the door for you anymore. She notices the way he treats other girls. Maybe just a little too friendly. But, it's no big deal--it can't be. She finally found him. There could be no other guy out there for her, I mean, he's perfect. Every girl's dream guy. One night he asks her a question she never thought he would pressure her with. She reminds him of the standards they had set when they started dating months before. He looks at her, smiles, and says that he prayed about it & God told him that since she was the girl for him, and they would eventually get married anyways, it was ok. She looks into his blue eyes and drinks in his words, "I love you. Don't you love me too?" She doesn't want to start at ground one again. Really, he's perfect. Perfect looks, perfect grades, perfect personality, perfect leadership. There are only a couple things that bother her, but they aren't really that big of a deal. He lost some of his charm and chivalry, but that's normal, right? He flirts with attractive women, but "loves" only her, right? His attitude towards his mom and sister is somewhat apathetic, but he's polite. He loves her.

I see that look on your face. You ain’t hearing what I say. So I’ll say it again ‘cause I know where you been and I know how it ends: you can’t get away. Don’t even look in his eyes. He’ll tell you nothing but lies. And you wanna believe but you won’t be deceived if you listen to me and take my advice. . .

That story of a girl is all too familiar. She is walking by me everyday. I see the hurt and pain in her eyes, yet I also see her sheer addiction to his love. I want to wrap my arms around her and breathe confidence into her beautiful heart, but I know of only One who can truly breathe that confidence into her life. She will only keep walking hand-in-hand with that cowboy Casanova until she allows One Man to be the author of her romance.

Who is a Cowboy Casanova? A Casanova is a smooth-talking man who can easily talk women into what he wants them to do. The popular song bringing these Casanovas to life depicts them as the devil seeking to devour your life. While there are some men out there who do deviously plot to seduce women into their bedrooms, the majority of who you & I deal with on a daily basis are a little more subtle.

On a side note, it is extremely important to realize that men are not the only "Casanovas" out there. We women can most certainly not treat men fairly as well. In fact the Proverbs writer specifically warns men against adulterers and promiscuous women. So while we learn about characters to run from, we must also guard our hearts against thinking men are the only ones with problems. We must carry ourselves with grace, poise, and dignity, running from the immoral attributes described in Proverbs 6:20-35 and Proverbs 7.

How does a Cowboy Casanova act? You can't quite pin point every characteristic regarding Casanovas, but we can look at several key warning areas.

1. Smooth-talker. Boy, does he have a way with words. He knows exactly what to say & how to say it to capture your heart quickly.
2. He moves fast. Your relationship progresses extremely fast and you feel yourself falling head over heels for him abnormally quickly. Before you even know key parts of his character and history your heart is attached to him.
3. He is a ladies' man. Notice how he treats women in general? While you may feel special because you have an hour conversation with him on the phone, have you noticed if he treats other girls in his life this way? How many other girls is he making feel "special" right now too?
4. His mom & sisters are "side issues." In public, his mother and sisters aren't a part of who he is. He is merely polite to them because they are related. Watch out! How a guy treats his female family members definitely indicates how he can/will treat you one day.
5. Arrogance masked by "confidence." There is a huge difference between arrogance and confidence. God-confidence is marked my humility. Arrogance is marked by self over God.
6. He's always right, period. It doesn't matter if you have a certain opinion about something, what he thinks is the most important and what rules the day.

Run run away don’t let him mess with your mind. He’ll tell you anything you want to hear. He’ll break your heart. It’s just a matter of time. . .

As the lyrics above state, if the guy you are interested in or are already in a relationship with has any of the character traits above, you need to run now. First, talk to Christ. As we have been discovering this month, He needs to be the focus of your life and the author of your love story. Now it's time to take action though. I know it is hard. It's hard because your heart is tightly wrapped. I once read that an addiction is anything that you can't see yourself living without. Do you view the man in your life that way? (Even if he doesn't act like a Casanova, if you are addicted to him you are disobeying Christ. Maybe a break is in order here?)

I know this issue isn't really "easy reading." Trust me, it's not really "easy writing" either. The tune is catchy & easy to sing along to, but this area is something that we women need to start addressing. It breaks my heart seeing girls in relationships with guys who don't have their best interests at heart. God is crazy in love with you & He wants the absolute best for you. Likewise, He wants the absolute best of us for those warrior-servants out there. But we can't give our best if we are settling for less than God's best. Saying goodbye isn't easy. But maybe God wants to work on that boys life too. It's time to step aside and let God work in not only that cowboy casanova's heart, but as well as in our own.

Jesus Christ is crazy in love with you. What He does in you while you wait for His man for your life is just as important as that man you are waiting for. It isn't easy to have delayed gratification, but it is totally worth it. Please don't settle. The wait is well worth it. Trust me.

"Don't excite love, don't stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you're ready." Song of Songs 2:7

What Happened to All the Guys?

Is chivalry dead? What happened to my knight in shining armor? Are girls really supposed to take the lead when it comes to relationships?

Two of my close friends and I began a new tradition in college. Once a week we would all meet at my house to eat dinner and just talk about what is going on in each other's lives. After a while, it felt like our conversations were centered primarily on guys, or the lack of them! What do I mean? All three of us have a certain criteria that we are looking for in a godly man. He must first and foremost love Jesus with his entire being. But secondly, he must also be a strong leader. He needs to be the initiator in the relationship and lead it to where God wants it to go. Lately we have noticed in our own lives that it seems like chivalry is dead. Huh? You know, when guys were gentlemen and held doors open for women or stood up when a young lady entered the room. There once was a time when men would jump up to gladly offer their seat to a woman. The technical definition of chivalry is "the sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms." A chivalrous man is in other words a gentleman. But the kind of man that we, as godly young women, are waiting for is much more than just a mere gentleman. The man that we are holding out for is a man of corosso.

Corosso is the Greek word for character. The meaning of character here is much deeper than how we translate it today. It means to have integrity--to stand upright and pure. What does this chivalrous man of corosso look like? This man loves God with his entire heart and strives to put Him first in everything he says and does. Secondly, he is a man of integrity and leadership. He does what is right, no matter what. He takes the lead. He is a man who loves him family. He treats women with respect and dignity. He has manners. Sound perfect? Impossible? Not perfect and not impossible, but sometimes hard to imagine today. This man seems impossible to find. Where have the men of corosso gone?!

As my friends and I dream about the future, we seriously wonder where God is hiding this breed of men. But He isn't hiding them. They are out there! We just have to wait for God to bring us together in His timing. That's what is key. And while we wait for men of corosso, we must also focus on becoming women after God's own heart. "A Christ-following Hero trusts God's purposes and leads others to do the same." We need to trust that God has the perfect plan and timing to bring that special someone into our lives. A guy can never complete you and you can never complete that guy. Remember, it's not all about the guy! Only Jesus Christ can define you and satisfy the desires of your heart. Allow Him to shape and mold you into the woman He wants you to be and trust Him to bring your knight in shining armor when He knows that you are ready. Patience isn't easy, but it is well worth the wait. One man who has modeled true corosso to me once said, "What God does in you while you wait is just as important as what you are waiting for." Those words definitely ring true. Chivalry is not dead. Men do still take the lead in relationships. You just have to look for it and trust that God knows what He is doing.

*Here's a thought to chew on today: Have you ever thought that maybe this breed of men that God is raising up is down on their knees praying for a generation of godly young women? Changing the world starts with me. While you trust God for that warrior-servant, keep your eyes on Christ & allow Him to transform you into a radiant, passionate, set-apart woman chasing after Him alone.

Looking For Love

Why are you looking for love? Why are you searching as if I'm not enough? Where will you go child? Tell me where will you run? Where will you run?

Let's be honest. February is known for Valentine's Day and tons of other mushy love stuff. Some of us will be spending this month with a special someone, but still others of us will look on this month painfully. Why is that? Is love defined by a person? According to 1 Corinthians 13:3-8, "Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, doesn't have a swelled head, doesn't force itself on others, isn't always 'me first,' doesn't fly off the handle, doesn't keep score of the sins of others, doesn't revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. Love never dies" (The Message). Not once does it say that love is a human person. Love is something that we must work at. It isn't easy. None of the definitions in 1 Corinthians 13 say that love is easy. In fact, love can be a pretty tough thing.

Before Valentine's Day, many of my friends were planning what they were going to do for their boyfriends and anticipating the many surprises in store for them on that particular day. Some of my other friends were even asked on first-time dates! As I sat back and watched my friends' enthusiasm and excitement, I wondered about my own Valentine's Day. Who would I be spending it with? Some of my single friends were desperately looking for a date--even if it was only a one-time-thing, just so that they wouldn't be alone. As I began to think about that, I knew in my heart that something just wasn't right. Why would I want to look for a date just for a day? I mean, Valentine's Day is just another day, right? So why do we put so much emphasis on loving others on this one, single day?

Tenth Avenue North sings the song, "By Your Side." This past week, one little phrase jumped out at me: "Why are you looking for love? Why are you searching as if I'm not enough?" Wow. Searching for love. Yep, that sounded pretty familiar. Being alone on Valentine's Day.....well, that isn't too popular! But I wanted to talk to Jesus about this whole dating/guy issue, so I went to our spot and just started talking to God. I poured out all of my thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams about relationships in my own life as well as thoughts about God's plan in the midst of these relationships. God distinctly brought a verse to my mind: Song of Songs 2:7, "Don't excite love, don't stir it up, until the time is ripe--and you're ready" (The Message). The New International Version goes like this, "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." So back to the song's lyrics, why do we search for love when God's Word specifically tells us not to? Possibly because it is just too hard to wait. It isn't easy to say "no" right now in order to say "yes" for God's best. It is easy to conform to society's standards of dating, pursuing guys, and flirting flings. It just isn't easy to say no. Honestly, it all comes down to a matter of trust and control. Amy Carmichael once said, "It is a safe thing to trust Him to fulfill the desire which He creates." God created you to desire love and affirmation, but that comes in His perfect timing. In order to allow this to happen, you must trust Him completely. Waiting for His timing isn't easy though. I completely understand. At times it is even pretty frustrating! It is easy to struggle with self-doubts and to wonder if you are even good enough. In those desperate moments, remember that "what God is doing in you while you wait, is just as important as what you are waiting for." God's ultimate plan is not in making you happy. It is in making you more like Jesus. We all have to grow, and growth comes in seasons and stages, but it does happen if you allow it to. Dannah Gresh and Nancy Leigh DeMoss state in their best-selling book, Lies Young Women Believe, that "God's standard of purity is high, but the rewards are worth the price of self-control." They also affirm that "The pain you feel now in the waiting will be the happiness you feel then." God does have a purpose for you. You may be in a relationship with a guy right now and that very well may be God's plan for you. But, you also may not be in a relationship right now. You may be waiting patiently wondering when God will reveal Mr. Right. Hold on tightly to Jesus' words in Song of Songs 2:7. You will be more content and satisfied if you wait for God to awaken love at the right time than if you settle for less than His best for your life.

Why are you looking for love? Why are you searching as if I'm not enough? Where will you go, child? Tell me where will you run? Where will you run? I'll be by your side wherever you fall. In the dead of night whenever you call. And please don't fight these hands that are holding you. My hands are holding you.

If you are by yourself this month, spend some time thanking Jesus for refining and shaping you into who He wants you to be. Take time to pray for Mr. Right. Thank Jesus that He will awaken love in your life at the right time. While you are in this season of waiting, make a list of what you are looking for in a godly guy and stick to your list--even the small, minute details matter! Write a love letter to your future husband. He will cherish this act of 1 Corinthians 13 love for forever. Practice what love really looks like. It doesn't come in a chocolate-covered package with a stuffed teddy bear. Love comes in the name of Jesus Christ. Trust Jesus and give Him the key to your heart....that is when love has the ability to truly blossom.

Let's Talk About Sex!

Some people cringe when they hear the word "sex." Our generation has been brought up with the notion of "oh please, not another sex talk!" Seriously! Think about it...when an adult comes and says, "We need to talk about something important," and then brings up the topic of sex, you get uncomfortable, start to sweat a bit, and really wish you weren't having that conversation right now. But then it is constantly shoved down our throats, "Don't have sex, don't have sex! Just in case you didn't get it the first time, DON'T HAVE SEX!" Blah, blah blah......yep, I have heard that one before! OK, so before you rule out this post, hear me out. I am not here to give you the "sex talk" one more time. I just want to state the facts.....I am on this same road with you!

Do you ever feel like we live in a world of very mixed messages? Like look at the media! Almost every movie has the hot guy who sweeps the girl off her feet and they fall madly in love, move in together, and live happily every after. That isn't how real life works. The media would love for us to believe that the next step in a relationship would be either moving in together to "test it out" or just try each other out physically just to make sure the "magic" is really there! Ah, no. You cannot find out if a certain guy is for you simply by how he kisses. There really will not be fireworks in the air and a great big neon sign that flashes "he's the one" when his kiss seals the deal. That's how Hollywood works, not real people.

How many movies, magazines, songs, and TV shows have you seen in the last year that have had the issue of sex in them (or how about in the last week?!)? Umm, let's think about that one--too many to count, right?! Some popular items over the past couple years would be in the cases of Juno, The Secret Life of the American Teenager, the teen "pregnancy pacts" in high schools, and the pregnancies of popular celebrities such as Jamie Lynn Spears. Sex is literally shoved into our faces and our world tells us that it is cool--everybody else is doing it, so why not? I probably won't end up pregnant anyways! That notion is totally false! Even though you feel like you won't end up pregnant, you just might. There is no guarantee that even just experimenting with sex will leave you free of a pregnancy or a disease that lasts a lifetime. Now, these are the standard and obvious "no no's" of sex, but what defines sex?

OK, I am not going to go detailed here, but sex is intercourse with the opposite sex. Period. Intercourse. You getting with him physically. Two becoming one. God set sex apart for marriage only. Between one man and one woman. Not between multiple men and women. He wants sex to be a special present between you and your future spouse someday. Sex bonds you with another person in a way that you cannot be separated. Sex in a simple dating relationship leaves you broken and hurting. Sex in marriage leaves you fulfilled and satisfied. Hello, God created sex! It isn't something to turn red in the face about. It is something to be thankful for in the right time and place.

If I were to buy you a present, I would take special time and care to pick it out and wrap it beautifully. I would proudly give it to you and watch as you open it up and enjoy what's inside. I would not give you a thrown out piece of garbage wrapped in wrinkled, old newspapers that were stained in mud! Definitely not! The same goes for yourself. You are a treasure. Save yourself for your future husband to enjoy. Don't present yourself as someone who has been unwrapped over and over for him to get the left-overs.

What if you have already gone down the path of sex? Can you ever get your purity back? You can definitely talk to Jesus and make a 180 degree turn to walk towards sexual purity. God loves you more than anything in the world and desperately wants to re-wrap you in His special wrapping paper! He can make you brand new again!!!

There are many different sub-topics in the area of sex, but if you have been sexually abused or raped, please talk to a trusted adult woman about it. Do not carry that burden alone. In God's eyes, you are pure. It is not your fault that someone took advantage of you. Please seek help to restore your body and mind.

So I hope that you didn't feel like you were being forced into another "sex talk" while you were reading this! Sex really is an awesome thing if we use it in the right way. Be patient. Don't give yourself away to the first guy that walks your way. If he is pressuring you into sex for love, he is not worth it! Please, please, please do not fall for that trap! Jesus loves you so much! Follow Him in this process. Believe me, you will not be disappointed!

The Dating Formula...Is There Such a Thing?

Yes, there is a formula to a great relationship. Don't believe me? It's called the "Love Dare."

Ever heard of the movive, Fireproof. Wow, what an amazing movie! Now, I don't want to spoil the ending just in case you haven't seen in, but I am going to give you a little background! Fireproof is about a marriage that is failing--literally. The entire movie depicts the struggle for this relationship to work out. I mean, they had been in love, yet now they couldn't stand each other.

Is it possible to fall out of love with someone? I thought love lasted forever. Not quite. "Love" doesn't last forever with no effort. Remember, love is not that gooey thing that comes in the shape of roses and chocolate! Love is defined as this: "Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, doesn't have a swelled head, doesn't force itself on others, isn't always me first, doesn't fly off the handle, doesn't keep score of the sins of others, doesn't revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end." (1 Corinthians 13) OK, that definition is pretty hard--no, it's not pretty hard, it is very hard! It is not easy to put up with anything, care for others more than myself, and see the best in every situation! But this is the kind of love that is needed to make a relationship "fireproof." With effort and work invested in a relationship, according to this definition of love, you cannot "fall out of love with someone." But if your love is rooted upon how your boyfriend looks or how much he buys you, then yep, you can "fall out of love" (because you aren't really loving--you are buying a small glimpse of what love can be!).

In the movie, Caleb (the man struggling in his marriage) was challenged by his dad to take this 40-day "Love Dare." This dare required him to do certain things everyday for 40 days for his wife and see how it goes. Well, in the first few days, he did not like it one bit, but as he continued working at it, his love for his wife grew stronger than it have ever been. (OK, I am stopping there in the plot of the movie--you need to go see it! I promise you this is an awesome chick flick!!!)

Love according to 1 Corinthians 13 isn't easy. It takes work. It takes investment. It takes time. In your first day of being a "true lover" it won't be a walk in the park, but as you keep walking in the light of what real love is, it will become easier.

There is just one thing. You cannot demonstrate this true definition of love if you have never received it before. Hold up, you are probably thinking! No, you do not have to go find someone to act this way towards you before you can truly love others! Someone is begging to be allowed into your heart. Someone who has loved you unconditionally regardless of how you treat Him. His name is Jesus. Jesus created this true love that we are even talking about. He came to earth and died for you. He loved you even though you didn't send one glance His way. He knew you before you were born and loves you SO much more than your boyfriend ever can. He rose back to life because of His love for you. Death could not defeat Him! If you just accept His love and receive Him as your Saviour and Lord, He can fill your heart with this genuine love. All you have to do is accept Him. Go ahead, talk to Him right now. All you have to do is say something along these lines, "Jesus, I know that I have messed up a lot in my life. I have made so many mistakes. I am so sorry for how I have sinned against you. Will you please forgive me? Will you please come into my life and be my Lord and Savior? I want to show true love to those around me. But most of all, I want to experience the love that you have been trying to give to me. Thank you for saving me. Please help me to live for you. Amen." If you just asked Jesus into your heart, tell someone! Spread that love! Send me an email at emilybc91@yahoo.com and tell someone close to you!Once you have the love of Jesus running through you, you can love others. You have experienced the true love of Jesus Christ. That is what a "formula" for this thing called dating is all about. Genuinely taking the dare to love others more than yourself only by the grace of God.

When to Start Dating--the Key to a Solid Relationship

Oh, the famous question, "When should I start dating?" Well, sadly I cannot give you some magic formula that gives you the perfect age and time to date, but I can give you some practical tips!

1) Check in with you parents. Your parents are pretty smart people and they have already been down the whole path of dating before! God placed your parents in your life for a reason--to guide you through the crazy ups and downs of life!
2) Look up to God. God created you and He created the perfect guy for you! He knows you inside and out. Ask God about when to start this whole process of dating. He will guide you with the "when" and the "who" of dating!
3) Set guidelines for yourself. OK, so you have talked to your parents and to God. Your parents may have given you a rule, like you aren't allowed to date until you are seventeen for example. It is your job to obey that. But you also need to set your own rules to follow. When would you like to start dating? You have already outlined what you are looking for in a guy (check out past posts). Now it is just waiting for that warrior-servant! Be patient, God will bring him to you in the right timing!! But for know, set guidelines in when to date, with whom and with whom you won't date, and what you will and won't do when you date.
4) Some Ideas to Get You Started.....

• Wait until you are an upperclassmen or out of high school. I realize that you may be out there at fifteen years old and wondering why in the world I would say such a thing! Well, even though you are mature in ninth grade, you still have a lot of learning to do and so do those ninth grade guys! Wait it out a little bit and make lots of friends! You will cherish those memories, believe me!
• Don't date just to date. Every person that you date is a potential person that you could marry someday. So do not date someone who you only see yourself with for a little over a month!
• Set your guidelines high and don't lower them. Like choose to remain sexually pure, wait to date until you are out of high school, save your first kiss for your wedding day, etc.
• Keep praying it up! God will guide you in this whole area of when to date! Believe me, I do not have it all figured out either, but with God's help, I know that He is guiding me through life.

"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." Song of Songs 2:7

It's All About the Guy--Wait, What About Him?

Guys, guys, guys....can't live with 'em and you just can't live without 'em! But, when getting ready to date, it is extremely important to know what kind of guy to look for......the best guy to date is not necessarily the popular jock on campus. The best guy to date is the warrior-servant that Christ brings into your life. (And the only way you can find this warrior-servant is to stop looking for him and focus all of your love and attention on Christ!)

Two words have started to shape what I look for in a man after God's own heart: servant and warrior. In a recent video for the movemnt, I Am Second, former Texas quarterback Colt McCoy described a man modeling Christ's behavior as a servant and a warrior--two things that Jesus most certainly was. Check out the video below:

So, what to look for in a guy?
He is a follower of Jesus Christ.
He puts Jesus first.
He is a strong leader on campus and church.
He displays obvious integrity.
He treats his mom and sisters, as well as other women, with respect.
He is driven and inspired--he has a plan for his life.
He has a good work ethic.
He displays good hygiene--girls, this really should be a no-brainer!
He displays wisdom with money and savings.
He is a good listener.

These are just a couple important qualities that should be on your list of what to look for in a guy, but I definitely would encourage you to sit down and write out your own list of characteristics that you look for in a man. Then when it comes time to actually get close to a guy, compare him to your list and don't settle for less than God's best for your life. God has that guy out there who matches up with your list and you match with his list. So be specific with your qualities and know that you should not and do not need to settle for any guy out there--no matter how hot he thinks he is!

Like we have been studying this month, the only way you will ever "find" Mr. Right is if you stop looking for him. Yeah, this may seem hard and totally counter-cultural, but it is so worth it! When you stop focusing on "finding" this guy (who is human and can't be perfect by the way), your sights can't be on Christ. You cannot be intently focused on two things at once. Put all of your efforst into Jesus Christ. Fall madly, crazy in love with Him. It's all about the guy? Yeah, not at all. It's all about the Creator of that guy who in His perfect time will bring you together. Until then, allow Him to transform your heart and draw closer to Him than you ever have before.

Modesty...Um, What Is That?

Modesty, what in the world does that mean? Garb that covers a girl head to toe? I mean, how am I supposed to breathe in that kind of set up?--Uh, no. Modesty is not "granny wear" or a black trash bag. Modesty is tastefully choosing clothing that is not only fashionable, but also protects you from heartache and from advertising what is not for sale.

The World's Version of Fashion
Yes, I know that we have fashion standards to live up to! I am a girl too!! So, what is "fashion" according to the society that we live in?

1. Fashion means less is more. So, less top + more cleavage and mid-drift is awesome! Not only will guys give you more attention, but you will feel more confident about yourself!
2. Tight is better. Hip-hugger jeans work best, especially when they give you constant wedgies! Just pretend you are wearing leggings. You may not be able to walk, but that's OK!
3. Short skirts are better than long skirts. Long skirts were made for your conservative grandma. Your legs were made for a reason so show them off!
4. Bikinis work best for the beach. And yes, tankinis and one-piece suits are for your mother and pregnant women! Show off your body!

OK, so these are just a few examples of the lies that the media throws our way. It is so hard to dig through these statements and their popularity and find the truth about what we should wear!

God's Version of Fashion
God says fashion is awesome and definitely attainable! So, how does fashion really work?

1. Less is not more! It is true that showing more skin will definitely get you more attention from guys and it may give you some temporary confidence, but it will only leave you more broken and starving for attention that ever. You can still wear cute tops and be modest. Layering shirts and tank tops is a great idea!
2. Tight is not better--especially for the circulation system! But honestly, spandex just bring you the wrong attention in all the wrong places. So do you want a guy who loves you for your butt or for your contagious personality? Just sayin'!
3. No, long skirts are not for grandmas! I prefer the mid-leg skirts--you know the skirts that go to about your knee. These are a perfect medium. Yes, God gave you gorgeous legs, but they are not made to be eye candy.
4. Bikinis are not best. Would you walk into your local grocery store in your bra and underwear? I sure hope not! But isn't that basically what you are doing? And yes I know that it is difficult to find cute tankinis, but it is possible! Trust me, you will get attention in a bikini, but not lasting or important attention!

So, how could we best define modesty? Modesty is wearing clothes that glorify God and allow you to still be a part of the "fashion world" without compromising your standards. That is worth striving for!

And one important thing to remember is that guys are visually stimulated so what they see stimulates them. We need to help protect guys from falling short. Strive for guys to like you because of your deep love and confidence in Jesus Christ. That is a love that really lasts.

To Flirt Or Not To Flirt, That Is The Question

Flirting- (flirt-ing) to make playfully romantic or sexual overtures; to deal superficially with; toss or flip suddenly; to move quickly.

Ecclesiastes 10:12-13- "Words from a wise [woman's] mouth are gracious, but a fool is consumed by [her] own lips. At the beginning [her] words are folly; at the end they are wicked madness."

To flirt or not to flirt, that is the question. Hmmmm.....and a very good question at that! Seriously, is flirting just all fun and games or can really people get hurt in the process? According to Mr. Webster and King Jesus, the answer to our second question (on whether people get hurt) is yes, absolutely! The dictionary says that flirting is something that you do "superficially" which means that you are acting "shallow." OK, so flirting with guys is "shallow." I have honestly never thought of it that way before! The Bible even backs that philosophy up too! Read Ecclesiastes 10:12-13 again. OK, did you really read it? It says that a foolish woman is "consumed with her own lips" and is viewed as "wicked madness." So this whole flirting thing is actually pretty serious!

So, we know that flirting is a negative thing, but what exactly is flirting and how do we as girls do it? We flirt by acting seductively "just for fun," playing with a guy's mind, playing up a guy's ego excessively, touching guys in inappropriate ways (ie. massages, full-body hugs, etc.), and spending excessive amounts of time alone with a single guy having very serious conversations (please note that while it is a good thing to have great conversations with guys, serious conversations when alone allow you and the guy you are talking with to bond in a very intimate way....these serious talks should be left for you and your future husband).

So, here's an example of all of this would be you walk into your college Bible study and you catch sight of this new guy that you have never seen before and let me tell you, he is fine! Well, you maneuver your way over to him and start a conversation (with very wrong intentions I might add--this conversation is not to make him feel comfortable in a new setting!) in which you ask if he has a girlfriend. He says no and you mention that you are single too (playing with his minds here!). Then you sit down for Bible study and you just happen to bump shoulders with him and you chair just happens to move a couple inches closer to his. Then afterwards, you tell him that he is such an amazing guy and that he has the bluest eyes you have ever seen! I think this guy is going to leave thinking that he landed the jackpot of all jackpots in girls, but you were just doing all of this for "fun" to see if you could land a guy like him. You never really intended to date him in the first place. Ouch, see what I mean.

But, what if you really do like a guy? How do you let him know that! First of all, it is easy to see a hot guy and be like "wow, I am so in love!" But checking out his character is a whole other story! How does this guy treat other girls? How does he treat his mom? We will be talking more about character traits later, so hang on. But make sure that you like a guy for the right reasons. You can let him know you like him in very pure motives. How do you do that?--Your behaviour and words are not suggestive or seductive. You would not be embarrassed in how you are behaving if your parents walked into the room.

OK, so we have discovered that flirting over-all is a shallow, hurtful, and temporary thing that girls do "for fun," but ends up not being so fun! Please think before you play around with a guy's emotions. And be careful when guys are flirting with you. You are too precious to fall for anything less than God's perfect plan for your life!

Easier to Write

Can I be honest? It's a lot easier to write all of this stuff than it is to actually live it out.

Shocked? Ah, you shouldn't be. For me, writing is like second nature. I write what I am learning--things that God is teaching me down this dusty trail called life.

It's easy to pick up my pen and jot down my thoughts in ink. There's just something about those permanent blue letters on a crisp, white piece of paper that makes me feel better (Yep, I officially sound like a nerd. Oh well!). When I write, everything makes a little more sense; however, everything I write about always seems to kick into high gear in my life as well.

So this month, as I have been brainstorming, writing, and letting God lead this series, my thoughts on love (among other things) have kind of been on the forefront of my mind. Prince Charming. Cinderella. Boy meets Girl. Happily Ever After. Boxes of Chocolate. Red Roses. Newsflash: in case you didn't know, it is Valentine's Day. Today is some sort of special day set aside for boys to buy some special girl a box of chocolate and a dozen roses. And then there are those girls who go buy chocolate for themselves, but we'll skip that seemingly unimportant little detail right now! Let's all admit it, if we are truly being honest, you either love Valentine's Day, hate it, or just really don't care (Most girls I know tend to lean towards one side or the other though). You love it if you do have that knight in shining armor beckoning you his way, gallantly pursuing your heart. You tend to hate it if it seems like all of your friends have their Prince Charming and you are left at home, making yourself mac'n'cheese watching re-runs of Ever After and 27 Dresses while drowning your sorrows in a carton on chocolate ice-cream. And then, you may just really not care. Who needs a guy anyways? Just sayin'.

Does one day out of 365 really need to affect us--me--this much? Why should I have such intense feelings about a single day? So what if a guy doesn't ask me to the movies or dinner on this particular day. Does that make me any less of a woman? Not at all! Easy to write. You bet ya. Hard to live and believe every day. Oh yeah. Guess what: I am a living, breathing girl who goes through the same things that you do. I walk through the hallways of a college campus. I am pursuing a career. I have two part-time jobs. I have close girlfriends who I love hanging out with. I love Jesus Christ with all of my heart and am striving passionately to live for Him. I also have the same emotions that we all go through. Who doesn't want to be named the prom queen? Who doesn't want to be asked out? Who doesn't want to be looked at as "beautiful"? Just so you know, you are not alone. But for me, I want to do something from now on to change. I want to truly live out those things that are just easier to write out on paper.

"For who is God, except the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God? It is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, and set me on my high places. He teaches my hands to make war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze." Psalm 18:31-34

"Show me Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; On You I wait all day." Psalm 25:4-5

"Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord!" Psalm 27:14

These verses give me hope. I know that with God, I can do anything. This is one of those things that is easy to write about. Now I need to put it into action. If I truly believe that with God I can do anything, then shouldn't the 14th of February be a great day regardless of what I do or don't do? If I truly believe that God is crazy, passionately, hilariously in love with me, then shouldn't I walk like a woman empowered by that kind of love?

How can I get there? How can I move from simply writing these words on a page to actually applying them in my life? I think Matthew 16:24-27 spells it out pretty clearly:

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done."

Making the shift from dried-up ink to the actions of my heart requires sacrifice. A Man who loved me enough to shed His very blood for me is crying out, "Emily, pick up your cross and follow me." You see, this man thinks I am crazy beautiful. He says that I am enough. I don't have to change to win His approval. I don't have to dress a certain way to earn His love. All I have to do is be me, who He created me to be: simply emily. And honestly, that sounds really good. I'm sick of looking at magazines and trying to be something that I'm not. I love that for Jesus, I am beautiful the way I am. With Him, I don't have to be anything more or anything less. That's refreshing...and a sigh of relief! Aren't you sick of trying so hard to live up to the world's so-called standards? Aren't you exhausted from over-analyzing everything from how you look to what people think about you? I know I sure am. I am so ready to move from the ink on the page to the actions of my heart.

Was this post easy? Um, honestly, not really. Being transparent and honest isn't always easy, but it is certainly one of the best ways to start moving your heart towards action. Anything you need to be honest with Jesus about today? It's a great day to start. Why not today, this "day of love," talk to your Creator about what's going on. There is a Man who is passionately, ridiculously, endlessly, hilariously in love with you. His name is Jesus Christ. The choice is up to you. Do you want a life that is easier to write on paper because it's just too hard to actually live it? Or do you want a life that is marked by more than just mere written words...a life marked by how you lived?

Football Games, Quarterbacks, & Kisses

This past week we found another Super Bowl Champion. The SEC Championship is over. The Senior Bowl done. Fans cried as their favorite seniors walked off of their respective fields for the last time. One of America's favorite sports dominated the past few months (and still is as people are already beginning to look towards the NFL draft coming up!) along with other things...

In the midst of getting into the groove of my Spring classes, loads of homework, and seeing old friends, the classic routine of "who likes who" already started (yep, it doesn't end once you leave high school!)! New relationships have already begun while others have evaporated. Jordin Pruitt says it right when she sings, "Who likes who? Everyday it's someone new. The halls are filled with voices whispering, 'who likes who?' Doesn't matter if the rumor's true."

Who is dating on your campus? Hollywood portrays the "cute couple" as the star quarterback on the football team and the head cheerleader. If this isn't the case, then it is definitely the star quarterback and the head volleyball player. Oh, still a different scenario? Well, then it's definitely the star quarterback and the captain of the drama club. Get the point? Hollywood glamorizes a certain type of "jock" as the guy to win. There are barely any movies where the dating scene does not have a football star as the leading player!--now this doesn't mean that there is anything bad with dating a football player, I am merely making an observation here!

I remember one particular game in high school when I was able to go down onto the field to congratulate the team after our victory. As I stood with my friends, I couldn't help but notice different girls flocking to their certain football player and giving them a big hug and a kiss--and yes, after this they were also covered in sweat! I honestly couldn't help but wonder if these girls were dating these football players because they had a growing relationship that honored God or because it made them feel better about themselves. Why does Hollywood glamorize football players in the first place? Hello, they work out, have muscles, and win games for their school! Let's just say they are the modern-day knight in shining armor that comes and sweeps girls off their feet. And yes, girls are swept off their feet and are wrapped up into a relationship before they even know what is happening!

So, how did I feel at that game? Well, I didn't have a football-playing knight in shining armor to run to, so I just watched the other girls. What went through my heart right about then? Yes, I will be honest, I did feel like I should go find my own football player for a couple minutes! But then I thought back to how far God has brought me and everything that He has done for me. God has told me to wait for my knight in shining armor, so I am going to wait on God's direction. Yes, it was a little disappointing and tough after the game when I didn't have a hot jock calling my name, but I have the King of Kings who created my name. My God has a plan for my life that I quite frankly do not want to try and take into my own hands. If God says that He has His perfect guy out there for me, then I am going to wait for the day that I can run to my man and congratulate him on his victory. That day will come, just in God's timing.

Back to our month of love.....so, society definitely gives us a picture of what the ideal dating relationship looks like, but that does not mean that it is the best description.

Society describes a healthy dating relationship as a guy and a girl who barely know each other, but decide to get to know more about each other through dating. Once the relationship begins, they go to a movie and maybe get some dinner afterwards. Then they kiss and call it a night. The next date goes a little further. The couple takes it to the next "base" and "finds out more about each other." This couple may fight, but both parties just go and talk it out to their friends and then call each other begging for another chance. Then society says that sex seals the deal on love, so they have sex, but find out that now they just can't be together in the same way and part ways.....or continue in the same circle over and over and over.

A healthy dating relationship defined by God goes as follows: A godly guy notices the character of a girl pursuing Jesus Christ with all of her heart. He pursues her and encourages her in her walk with Christ. They get to know each other while they actively grow in their relationship with God. Then they begin to date. They have fun with groups of people and still stay true to who they are even though they are dating. They set guidelines and standards that they choose to follow in their relationship. Once they have drawn their lines, they don't step over them. When they disagree, they don't trash-talk each other to their friends, but talk to God about the situation and seek His guidance--He is the One who brought them together in the first place! Whatever happens, they allow God to lead and in that they are truly blessed.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this post as well as the subjects to come. If you have something more personal that you would want to share, just e-mail me at emilybc91@yahoo.com.

Remember, run to Jesus and turn around to see who is trying to catch up with you.

My Goal For Next Valentine's Day?

Moon roof open, windows down, radio on. Just another typical morning on my way to Statistics--driving through open horse country, singin' along, & enjoying the scenery! So, this song, "Two Is Better Than One," comes on (Cute song! Plus Taylor Swift performs it in, so you can't go wrong!). After the song ends, the radio announcer starts talking, "Yeah, I bet you don't want to hear that song if you don't have anyone this Valentine's Day. That's depressing. You better make sure that you find someone in time for next Valentine's Day!" OK....first thought: what is this guy thinking?!!! Then it went to: oh goodness he's right!!! I do need to find someone to buy me chocolate. And ended with: this is absolutely PATHETIC! Here's my question: Why does it seem like Valentine's Day is simply about having a relationship--any kind--just so that you can say you weren't "alone"? Sadly, today, it seems like we are searching for one-time flings for a day just to say we have plans or were asked out rather than thinking long term. Paradigm shift here: relationships are not meant to be temporary fixes to our seemingly huge problems. Relationships are meant to last (I'm talking both friendships and romantic relationships here). God does not put people in our lives for us to carelessly use and throw away when we are all done. His plan and purpose for love--genuine love--is not for us to find a guy who is willing to spend $5 on a box of chocolates and pick up a dozen roses in order to take us on a one-time fling. I don't know about you, but I'm not interested in or looking for a guy who just wants someone's name to fill into an empty spot in his outlook. I'm looking for a man who is a servant and a warrior--a man who seeks after Jesus first and foremost. I come second. Period. End of story.

Sound pretty straightforward? Well, yeah. I don't know how else to put it! Valentine's Day is about so much more than finding a dinner date. Valentine's Day is not something to be dreaded if you are "single." Valentine's Day is a day where we can radiate the love of Christ--just like any other day! It doesn't matter if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend on this particular day of the year or not. God's word makes it pretty clear: "Don't excite love, don't stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you're ready." (Song of Songs 2:7) Not sure if you can get any more clear than that!

Goal for next Valentine's Day? Continue to let Christ shape and mold my heart....not search for a guy to temporarily hold it.

Just a thought.